restlessness

We are 10 days shy of the three month mark of waiting for our Letter of Acceptance. And I'm beginning to feel it. Most of this adoption thing has gone by at record breaking speed. But this part, the final leg of the journey, seems to be taking forever. Don't get me wrong, I've got plenty of life to keep me busy: two kids, 3 and under, trying to sell the house, a demon-possessed dog and medical-freak finger issues, that kind of stuff. But just this week there has been a restlessness in my heart to bring Quinn home that has become more defined.

Yesterday there were several points in the day where I found myself near tears. Thoughts of Quinn like a burden around my neck. I think most of them were brought on by watching Turner run around, say a few words and most of all fall down, scream and cry as he reached out for him mommy for comfort. As I held him and saw him calm down I wondered who is there to comfort Quinn now that he's probably cruising around, running into walls and just generally being a boy? Quinn turns 18 months on April 10th. That is a year and a half of his life that I have not been there for. We knew full well that we would miss many early milestones, that's part of the adoption gig. But as I see Turner reaching milestone after milestone I feel my heart turn toward Quinn. I think its part of God's plan to knit my heart to him.

I'm still trying not to check my email 700 times a day hoping beyond hope that the LOA is in my inbox. I am confident it is on its way and will come in God's perfect timing. In the meantime its good to know I am feeling ready to have a third crazy running around this house!