Thursday, May 31, 2012

Another chapter

I'm a bit of a mess.  Tomorrow is the last day of kindergarten.  A LOT has changed since the first day of kindergarten.  (Woah.. was I really bald?  And skinny?  Seems I've been gaining weight and hair like it's my job . Crazy!)

I have not found myself being sad as my kids transition from one stage of life to the next.  But this one is really getting to me.  I'm not sure why.  Maybe because 1st grade sounds so old.  Like a real person.  Maybe it's because I can remember 1st grade, so I know we are starting to hit actual memory makers.

Maybe it's because Kindergarten (for this mommy) has been magical.  She has grown, blossomed and become so smart.  She reads.  She preformed on stage last week and didn't even bat an eye.  She is a friend to everyone.  She has been with the same teacher for the past three years and now she moves on.

I realize that by Saturday, I won't even look back.  But tonight, the last day of kindergarten-eve, I am emotional.  My little girl is not quite so little any more!

Tuesday, May 29, 2012

Party time

I've sat in the same chair (with the exception of about a half dozen days) nearly 100 times- literally.  What can I say?  I'm a creature of habit.  I don't believe in luck.  I believe that God orchestrates all.  But to be honest, I've struggled a bit with superstition.  I've talked it over with the Lord, He knows I'm in process on this one.  I know that being in a different chair won't actually jinx things.  So let's just call it a *habit.*  I was thankful for the final dose of poison, *my* chair was open.

The drug I've been getting for the past 21 rounds is not technically a chemo drug.  It is a bio-chemical drug.  What that means, I'm not quite sure.  I do know the nurses don't have to put the protective blue gowns on when they handle it like they do for the chemo drugs.  So perhaps its not quite as deadly as the other stuff.  Good to know.

FYI, it's always a bit unnerving when you see them gown up so it won't get on them when they put that stuff IN you . 

During my last round, a lady I have gone through this with sat next to me.  She isn't doing well.  I have not seen her in several months.  It's interesting how I felt sad and guilty as I also felt relief and thankfulness for my own health.

The sun is shining today.  My heart feels like there is a party going on inside.  I am overwhelmed by the grace I have experienced lately.  And by lately I mean the past nearly 40 years.  My 40th birthday is in a few weeks.  And when you've battled cancer and are on the other side of it, 40 years seems like a blessing rather than a curse.  I am thankful to have hair.  I'm thankful to be able to keep up with my kids.  I'm thankful for my amazing husband.  I might have dreaded my 40th birthday if it had not been for the past year and a half.  But this year there is MUCH to celebrate.  There always is!

Thank you for the many prayers and encouraging words along the way.  I don't feel totally free from this road of cancer, but I feel one step further down it... and for that I say let's party!

Sunday, May 27, 2012

Kicking off summer

It's Memorial Day weekend.  One of my favorite holidays.  It's extra great this year because the weather is outstanding.  It's been in the 90's.  For me that is better than the 60's and raining, like it is most Memorial Day weekends around here.  Our outdoor pool opened the other day and we went today.  It was perfect.  Last year I was the bald lady walking around the pool.  This year I'm a normal lady walking around the pool.  I like normal much better.

Tuesday is my very last chemo treatment.  I might skip the whole way there.  It feels really good to have one more.  That will be round # 22.  Twenty two rounds of chemo.  That's A LOT.  To say it feels really good to have one more is an understatement.  Thank you, Jesus!

The boys had their last day of school on Thursday.  Olivia has one more week.  Last week was the week of crazy with award ceremonies, thank you gifts, a spring concert and a cultural fair at the kids' school.  This mama is ready for summer vacation! 

Two years ago this weekend my mom went into Hospice.  It taints the weekend a bit for me, but I'm thankful that we are able to make new memories.  We bought Olivia a new outfit for her award ceremony at school because "if Bebe were here she would have."  I really want to keep my mom's memory alive.  It was a struggle of a week because there were tons of things I wanted her to be a part of.  Stories I wanted to share.  Things she would have had a million questions about.  One real blessing was that my Aunt, her sister, was driving through town and got to be a part of several of those events.  It truly was the next best thing to having my mom here.  Some days I think the grief is getting better and then I have weeks like last week where I literally want to pick up the phone and talk to my parents. 

I'm thankful to be able to have such a fun weekend even in the midst of hard.  I guess that is what I'm learning life is about.

Monday, May 14, 2012

This post is like a box of chocolates...

Oh my goodness.  Why can I not get back on my blogging game?  I'm sure you've all given up on me out there.  Things here are good.  Mother's Day weekend was nice.  We went to the zoo on Saturday because the weather forecast was not nice for Sunday.  It was great fun.  I love the zoo.  It seems you either love it or hate it.  I happen to love it.  The kids loved it too which makes me love it even more.

The weather was ugly here yesterday.  But I got a nice watch from Steve and a trip to Kroger.  Alone.  Which, although it sounds like work on Mother's Day, was a great treat.  Steve asked later in the day if I wanted to go out to eat for Mother's Day.  As opposed to cook?  Duh.  So we went to this cool place near our house that has been open about 6 months.  It's an old re-furbished Fire House.  The food is good and the place is cool.  The owners gave out roses to the mom's on their way out.  Nice touch.

This Wednesday we are getting new flooring in our back mudroom.  I might post pics.  But then again, the rate I'm going, I might not.

I've found that having an I Phone demotivates me in the evenings.  Which is exactly what I feared would happen.  My I Phone and Celebrity Apprentice.  Oh. My. Goodness.  I've really loved this season.  And if you have not watched it you should go back and watch the season On Demand (or something.)  It's been super addicting.

Oh, and I think I mentioned in my last post that I'm nearing the end of chemo treatments.  I am... but I'm a bit more behind than I thought I was.  NOW I still have 2 more treatments.  So, my official last one should be Tuesday, June 17th.  I will then be going in every 3 months for a blood test and Dr. appointment with a scan every 6 months.  Quite frankly, I'm glad to be going in so frequently.  It freaks me out a bit to go from every three weeks to a bit more spread out.  Don't get me wrong... I'll take it! 

Hopefully I'll be back soon with photos of my new floors. And with that exciting news, I've probably lost the last 6 people who are still checking in on this here blog.

Friday, May 4, 2012

Help Whip Cancer

I have not been a big *cancer is my cause* person since all of this started.  I'm still not.  However, my friend Shannon started a Pampered Chef business recently and she told me about what they are doing during the month of May.  I told her I would let you know about it.  I hope you will at least click on this link and read about it.

Here is how it works: certain products will automatically have proceeds donated to the American Cancer Society.  The other angle has to do with the total proceeds of the *party.*  This is an online party; which means you don't have to come to my house (so even if you don't live in the Greater Dayton area you can participate.)  You don't have to mingle with people you don't know and if you want products you can have them sent directly to you.  I won't get anything free by hosting this on-line party (so don't feel like you have to buy a pie plate in order for me to get free stuff.)  The idea is, if you are already a Pampered Chef fan, have a bridal shower to go to or a Mother's Day gift to buy, why not do it this way? If the on-line totals add up, Pampered Chef will donate up to 25% of the sales to the ACS. 

If you choose to order, please click on the above link to shop Online and enter First Name: Help Whip Last name: Cancer  (this ensures your order goes to this fundraiser.)

I think that is cool. 

If you DO live in the Dayton area and you want to be further involved, there is a Bingo Fundraiser next Thursday night, May 10th from 7-9pm at Parkview United Methodist Church in Miamisburg.  Admission to the event is easy, buy one of the Whip Cancer Event products (and Pampered Chef will donate $1 to ACS automatically).  This will buy you one Bingo Card.  Additional cards may be obtained.  Door prizes and Bingo prizes are pretty cool Pampered Chef products.  If you're looking for something to do with a group of friends, check this out. 

Okay, that is it.  I really try to very rarely promote *stuff* on my blog.  This one seemed like a really good idea.  I hope it helps you and ultimately the research for various cures for cancer.  I guess I have an investment in that!

Wednesday, May 2, 2012


Whoa.  It's been so long since I've blogged, my blog server changed its format.  Forgive me if this ends up being disjointed, I've got to figure out how to navigate around here.  Serves me right, going so long in between posts.

Around here we are nearing the home stretch for school.  I'm about to have a first grader on my hands.  Now that feels like REAL school to me.  I have major (and fond) memories of first grade.  I'm really excited for Olivia and a bit sad for myself.  Kindergarten has been magical for us.  We've had a wonderful experience and it is such an innocent time.  I wish I could freeze this year and just stay here. 

I've been so pleased with the year I just wrote a letter to the principal asking that Turner be switched to Olivia's teacher next year.  The boys have one more year of pre-school but at their school (because it is Montessori) they are with the same teacher for three years.  I'm pretty sure he'll get switched.  I hope so.

Monday is my next to last chemo treatment.  Which brings excitement/anxiety.  In some ways, I can't believe it's coming to an end all ready.  In other ways it seems like I've been doing this forever.  It will be a huge relief to not have to go into the doctor's office twice every three weeks.  It is also a tad nerve wracking that they've been checking me every three weeks and now they are sending me out on my own.  I'll be checking in every 4 or 6 months (guess I'd better get that detail figured out at my appointment tomorrow.)  I am so thankful to be where I am, considering last year at this time I was bald, exhausted and depressed.

Tomorrow is our 9th wedding anniversary.  I can't believe it has been 9 years.  Life sure did look a lot different back then.  Some things are harder now, lots of things are better.  Richer.  It is SO GOOD to be as in love with your husband as much as you were on the day you married him... maybe more so.  It's crazy how you stand in front of a crowd, in a beautiful dress, surrounded by friends and family and you excitedly pronounce you will move through life *for better or for worse.  in sickness and in health.*  Most of the time, I would guess, people have no idea what they are pledging.  I sure didn't.  But I would do it all over again.  A thousand times over. 

So they can change my blog format, add kids to my life, take my hair away, grow it back again, but it is AMAZING to say one thing I wouldn't change is the man I'm married to.  That is something to be thankful for!