Saturday, February 26, 2011

Who knew?

So, it looks like I'm a control freak. Funny, I didn't really put two and two together until this week. It's overwhelmed me. I'm trying to do *cancer* right. I'm trying to do chemo right. I'm trying to walk with Jesus and trust Him right. Guess what? I'm sucking at it. I'm a total basket case! I've had panic attacks. I've had a panic attack while on Zanex. I've had adverse reactions to Benedryl. I've been awake all night after taking Ambien. I'm a freakazoid. Then I try and figure out how *I* can rest in Jesus. Rest. Food. Peace. Those are the key things I need right now. I can't access them. Pray for that. I'm trying to do this perfect, and that is what will take me out, not all this other stuff.

Physically, I'm pooped. I tried to blow dry Olivia's hair last night and got winded. I've lost too much weight and am trying to eat. I walk around the living room or go upstairs and need to sit. It is so weird. Humbling. Overwhelming.

I've avoided blogging this week. Not sure why. Maybe it's because I'm not doing this perfectly. And before you all leave a hundred comments saying there is no perfect way or that I'll never do it perfectly, TRUST ME, I know. This is just part of my journey right now. And I'm even trying to push through this real fast to get to the other side. I just need to be. To roll with it. To let go. But guess what? That's not easy for a control freak!

There you have it. I guess all in all, I'm fine. Thankful that this really did go better than it could have. I am just struggling. Hard stuff sucks!

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

In it

Had a bit of a rough night last night. I got home and started having abdominal cramping. And sorry, this is the real deal, diarrhea all night. Then this metal taste came on and with that I couldn't tell if I was getting nauseous (you know that taste right before you throw up? Yep, that's what I get all the time with this new medicine.) I took medicine for nausea and feel better. I just need to stay on top of it. I am tired this morning... I'm sure there are lots of contributing factors.

I've been a bit overwhelmed this morning. I'm trying to focus on Jesus and stay positive. But this road feels pretty long this morning. And then I've been feeling fearful again. Like, what if I walk this hard road and the cancer doesn't get cured? Please pray for me to trust Jesus, no matter what the circumstances. If I'm barfing, achy, pooping, not pooping, bald, tired, feeling good, nearing the end, cured or not. I get overwhelmed trying to *get it right* with God too. Like if I could just get it right (whatever that means) He would let me bypass this journey.

None of that is going to happen. So I have to figure out how to love God and trust Him without trying to be religious about it. There is no formula. Its just a matter of getting near my friend and letting Him take over. This is so dang hard. Harder than I thought. And I've been a full time Christian worker for 15 years. Ha!

It sounds like my symptoms will morph and change and I get a slight break until Monday where I have one more treatment in this round. Then I'm off for nearly 2 weeks. Then it starts again. I'll be nervous for day 2 again, but at least I'll know a bit more what to expect. Pray for minimal side effects (and if not that I'd be able to handle whatever comes my way) and pray that I would not allow the what if's to taint today! Thanks

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

2 down

Well 2 treatments down, 16 to go.

Yesterday was terrifying. The nurses were great. I had a reaction to the first chemo drug, which is common. They had to give me extra Benedryl and extra steroids. Then they had to drip the chemo slower. It finally worked. What is funny is everyone around me was happily sleeping through their treatments. Me? Apparently, Benedryl makes me a bit wired. As do the steroids. A few hours into it, I was literally doing laps around the nurses station. I'm sure people thought I was crazy and talked about me when I left. Oh well. Looks like I'm totally going to be known as *that lady who walks when she comes.* It was an 8 hour day yesterday. Wowzers.

When I got home I was ready to go! I literally could have cleaned my whole house, visited with friends, watch the Bachelor (guess which one of those I actually did?!) I didn't sleep well last night, some because I was wired, some because I was a bit worried about today and how I would react to the drugs.

We got there bright and early, 8am again today. *Luckily* I was only there 7 hours today. Oye vey! Today they put drugs directly into my abdomen port. They essentially emptied a two liter bottle of pop into my belly. Can you say uncomfortable? But all went well. This is the drug that "will make me feel like I'm on chemo" according to my doctor today. So, we'll see how the next couple of days go.

All in all, I'm glad to have this thing underway. When I look at the bags of chemo hanging on the I.V. cart it scares me. But today I imagined Jesus' hand dripping into my belly and killing all of the cancer cells. That brought me comfort.

So friends, here we go!

Monday, February 21, 2011

Oh boy

Well, it's here. I'm off in about ten minutes to start my first chemo of round one. I'm pretty nervous. My stomach is in knots. I am trying to just go and trust the Lord, the doctor and the nurses. But the truth is, we just don't know how i'll react. I'm asking God to just give me peace. Tomorrow is a new kind of drug and next monday and new kind. I guess each new day i'll be a bit nervous, since we won't know how I'll do with each one. But God knows.

Steve is going with me both today and tomorrow. I'm thankful for a job with some understanding and flexibility.

Please pray for my nerves. For my body to accept the drug well... and that this stuff will rid my body of cancer once and for all.

Your prayers are felt and appreciated.

I'll update when I can.

Sunday, February 20, 2011

The perfect day

Yesterday was Olivia's 5th birthday. It was perfect. I was still a little ouchy from having the ports put in. So I was moving around the mall like an old lady. But I was so thankful to be there. She had a ball!
We invited seven of her friends and only 5 were able to make it, but we had the best time at Build a Bear Workshop.
At first I was wondering if we would get our money's worth.I'll tell you what, it was a fabulous party.
There was a hostess who was in charge (which meant the parents didn't have to lift a finger... money well spent right there!)
She was great. I don't know how these girls keep up the energy to do what the do all day long, but she really made O feel like a princess for an hour.

She got to go first at everything they did. Last year O would have been too shy, but this year she ate it up. Her friends were very patient and they were the perfect age for this party. The brothers were not invited (they would have been a touch too young.)
One of O's classmates has an older sister at their school. *I* has taken a real love for Olivia and whenever they see each other in the hall, *I* runs over and gives Olivia a hug.
So Olivia was thrilled to find out that *I* came to her party with her little brother. I don't know too many almost 12 year olds who would willingly and wantingly come to a 5 year old birthday party. So sweet. And I can't think of a better role model for O.
After the party we walked over to the food court for cake and then play time in the play area.
I think 5 year old parties are my fav. All the kids wanted to be near the birthday girl. It had me in tears.
My friend, Courtney, just started a new cake company. It's called Sweet Top Cakery and she's local in Dayton. She made this amazing Rapunzel cake.
Isn't it adorable?!
The tower is made of rice krispie treat and was totally yummy. As was the cake. Everyone was in awe of the cake and I felt terrible cutting it. Okay, not THAT bad because I really wanted a piece.
Which was great since I'm trying to put on a little weight.

It was the perfect day for our family.
I'm so glad that I was able to feel good enough to be a part of things.
It was a special day. And I can hardly believe what a beautiful, sweet, creative, lovely girl Olivia is becoming. I am thankful.

Thursday, February 17, 2011

One step closer

If you had mentioned Port to me a month ago, I would have figured you were talking about some kind of fancy dessert wine. And, YUM, I might add.

Today, I got a double port. Not so YUM, I might add. But to tell you the truth, this is one of the first days I'm feeling positive. (Maybe the Zoloft is kicking in. Maybe it's because the Cable Guy came to get us hooked up. Maybe it's the Percocet they have me on. Maybe it's the Lord. Who really can tell.)

Don't get me wrong, there is a pain in my side (where the abdomen port is) that hurts worse than when they filleted me open. (Maybe it was the morphine that time.) But all in all I feel like, Okay... one step closer to getting rid of this thing once and for all. Chemo starts bright and early Monday morning. And then again Tuesday morning. And then again the following Monday. And then a break and then start again. So, I may change my merry little tune.

But shoot, I'll take a merry little tune for today. The weather here was amazing (granted, I didn't really enjoy it since I slept the day away. But my kids did and that made me happy.) Isn't it funny how weather can affect so much? Maybe it shouldn't be that way... but it is.

I'm also humbled by God's provision for us. Several of my friends, and even several friends of friends, held a "Bloggy Fundraiser" yesterday. They each did a post about me and my story. They asked their readers to consider giving $5 to help cover the cost of expenses. They called the event *GimmEfive*. Cute, right? What's cuter? The $2,000 that was raised in 24 hours! Amazing! Check it out at the CaringforE website. This whole thing is one big fat humbling experience.

So, thank you if you have contributed. Thank you if you have cooked a meal. Thank you if you have sent a gift card. Thank you if you have cleaned my house. Thank you if you have sent a box of treats for me in the mail. Thank you if you dropped a card in the mail. Thank you if you have left a comment. Thank you if you have prayed for me. Thank you for understanding if a thank you note doesn't get to you in a timely manner (shoot, or at all!) Thank you seems so little and limited. But I am humbled and grateful. Thank you.

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

I'm back

Hey friends, sorry for the short bloggy vacay. I wish I could tell you Steve and I hopped on a plane and headed to some sun and sand for the weekend. Shocker, we didn't. In fact, I just have not had the gumption to get on here and update since Friday because, quite frankly, some days it's just hard. We went to church on Saturday night and toward the end of the service I got a call on my cell from an unknown number. They left a voicemail and it occurred to me that it might be the hospital in Toledo where my dad is. So, I had Steve step out and listen. Because seriously, now would be the PERFECT time for him to be in the hospital, right?!

Sure enough, my dad, who lives alone now since my mom passed away in June, had an *episode* in the middle of the night on Friday. Thankfully, he was able to crawl to the phone and dial 911. The EMS came and got him. He should be released today. They still don't know what happened. It wasn't his heart (he's got a bad heart and has a pacemaker, so the Dr. knows when it goes off.) I'm wondering if he didn't have some kind of panic attack. He's been very emotional about my situation.

We were already planning on going to see him Monday-Tuesday. Mostly because there is no telling when we'll be able to go and see him again. He's not well enough to drive here for a visit.

There I sat in the middle of church and broke down. Literally, for the first time in all of this I had the thought and spoke the words, "Jesus, I just CAN'T do this!" You know that whole, "God won't give you anything more than you can handle?" Yeah, well... I'm just about there! Steve and I got home and we prayed together. Oh, it was so good. I had this weird peace wash over me. I just got calm. Like God said, "Duh! Of course you can't handle this. NOW it's time to give up control. I'll handle this one."

We hopped in the car and went to visit my dad. The trip was stressful. My body aches. My anxiety is high. I have frequent panic attacks. We didn't get to spend much time with my dad because the kids weren't allowed in his room. But we went. It was good. He's doing better.

As for me, I have my moments. I go for an outpatient surgery tomorrow where I'll have two ports placed for my chemo. Chemo starts Monday morning, probably at 9am. I have thoughts of death. I have all the "what if's". I'm having trouble staying positive. And then God swoops in. You know that old cliche, "One day at a time." Yeah, I'm living it. The big picture overwhelms me. I can't do that. But I can go and get a handicapped hanger for my car at the BMV today. Then I can pick Olivia up from school.

Tomorrow I'll worry about getting through the port surgery. Pray for me. I want to enjoy today. It's a battle. But it's one that Jesus wants to fight for me. Pray I'll stop fighting and let HIM be my shield. Guess what? That's easier said than done!

Saturday, February 12, 2011

Wigging out

Well, I done and got myself a piece.
I can't believe it, but this is the one I chose. My friend Aimee, who is also my hair stylist and better yet, my friend, came with me. Thank God for Aimee, because with out her I would have totally lost it.
We walked into this total time warp. This shop was vintage 1970's. They do hair on one side and wigs on the other. They were very helpful and although I started to cry after being there about 5 minutes, I quickly recovered and we got to work.
I HATE that I had to order a wig yesterday. I hate that I'm going to go bald. I hate pretty much everything about this. But I'm thankful for God's goodness in the midst of it. I'm thankful for help from friends and the generosity of strangers. This road sucks, but I'm going to try and do it one little step at a time. And this step was getting a wig in case I ever want to look *normal.*
If I didn't want to look normal, this is the one I would have gotten. Oh my. I looked like I should be in some kind of space alien movie.
I played a cruel joke on Steve and told him this was the one I chose. You should have seen him stammer and try and find something nice to say about it. I didn't let him suffer too long and I think he might have been a touch mad at me.
Last night, Steve and Olivia went to the father/daughter Valentine's Dance at her school. She was positively bonkers all day about it.

To say the both of them had fun would be an understatement. They both enjoyed the night. One thing Steve mentioned was how assertive O was with her friends. Not bossy, but just not afraid to enter into the mix.

Which is different from last year. Our daughter who was riddled with fear is now in the mix. And thriving.

It is so fun to see her grow and mature. These are her sweet friends.
And these are the pictures that make this whole cancer thing so hard. I love looking at the pics but almost can't at the same time. I hate what I'm about to miss out on. But trust that because of this chemo I will be around to enjoy many more years and events to come. It wasn't until yesterday that it dawned on me, I should be thankful for chemo. As scary as it is, it is a good thing. Hopefully it is the thing that God is going to use to cure this cancer. Please pray that I would continue to see the positives and be thankful when I can!

Friday, February 11, 2011


Well, the cheeseburger was the MOST delicious thing I've had in long time. I could only (or should only) eat half but I managed to eat a handful of the fries. Oh my. I came home feeling so *normal*. Taking the kids to play at the mall, walking around and window shopping at the Gap and then being out to eat was medicine to my soul.

In fact when we got home I asked Steve if I should be worried that a cheeseburger would make me feel this good? Oh well.

Yesterday was a good day too. A good friend (slightly crazy friend) took the 2 boys with her and her 5 year old son and 10 week old baby to swim at the Y. With the boys gone, I took advantage of the time to have a date with Olivia. Tonight is a father/daughter Valentine's dance at O's school, so we went to Old Navy and picked out a new outfit for her. We then went for a real treat... she got a shake at Steak N Shake. It was good times just she and I.

O has been taking this change pretty hard. She's been exploding in anger at everyone. She "wrote" and illustrated a book the other day called, "Olivia is mad." She drew all of these pictures and told me what to write. The last page was a smiling Olivia and the words were, "Mommy is home from the hospital now and she can snuggle me. Olivia is happy." Needless to say, it brought me to tears.

Speaking of tears, I am going shopping with my friend who cuts my hair today for a wig. Can you even imagine? I don't know if I'll wear it, but I'm thinking it might be good to have as a back up plan for special occasions or for the kids. I told Olivia last night what I was doing and she got real excited. She wanted to know if she could come pick it out with me. Are you kidding me? You KNOW I'd come home with some kind of Rapunzel or Dolly Parton deal. Hats are one thing, hair is quite another, my dear.

It looks like chemo will start Monday the 21st. That way I get to be *good* for O's party. I'm happy about that. Next week (probably Thursday) I will go for out patient surgery to have 2 ports implanted.

We also have a YES from out dream nanny. More on her later. But she is going to be a real blessing and answer to prayer. If you would like to contribute to our nanny fund (we figure we need about $4,000 in order to pay her) you can go to the Caring For E website by clicking HERE and info is there.

Guess there is a lot to say today. Thanks for hanging in there and reading. The sun is shining through the windows and today I feel hopeful. That must be because YOU are praying. Thank you, and thank Jesus!

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

What a day

Well, since my days w/ hair are numbered, I thought I'd post a few pics. Today is the first day I've had the gumption to try on a pair of jeans. Mostly because my incision is still just a little too raw to want a piece of denim hugging it.

Simply putting on jeans (instead of the comfy yoga pants I've been laying around in) helped me feel human. They still are not the most comfy and probably won't wear them all day, but it helps to feel normal.
The problem is, they are now a bit big. I know, I know, even a month ago I'd kill to have them falling off, but seriously, not this way. Whatever.

I'm going to try and take care of that tonight. Steve and I are taking the kids to the mall to play for awhile (it is SO FREAKIN COLD HERE.) I fear I'm a bit depressed and the weather is NOT helping. After the mall we are going to go out to eat. We have not done that in over a month. The plan is to head to Red Robin. Where I plan to eat a big fat juicy hamburger. Take that you stupid ovarian cancer! I might even throw in an endless french fry basket to boot.

I got the phone call today that let me know about my chemo regimen. It's all kinds of complicated, but suffice it to say I'm most likely going in Monday (Happy Valentine's Day to us) for out patient surgery where I will get two ports implanted. One in my chest for the regular chemo and one in my abdomen for a *special* drug directly there. I will be on a 23 day cycle where I will receive chemo on days 1,2 and 8. I can start next Thursday and Friday or wait until Monday and Tuesday. Part of me wants to start and get it over with but a bigger part of me realizes Olivia's 5th birthday is that Saturday and I would like to have a chance to do her party. It's only a matter of being *behind* by four days.

We're going to pray about it, but I think I'm leaning to waiting until Monday.

Okay, I gotta run. The mall is calling.

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Details big and smalll

I've been trying to think of something to post about other than my health. Because honestly, I feel like a 75 year old woman who can only talk about how I'm feeling and what medications I'm on and how I'm pooping. Yawner.

But alas, I'm consumed with my situation. I've been fighting it. Because I realized the other day that for the past three weeks I walk around thinking and feeling like I'm dying from cancer. Although at this point, no one has told me that. In fact, so far, most news (other than the fact that I had cancerous tumors growing in my body) has been optimistic. But I am (I mean was) a pessimist. Because God is working on changing that.

I can't really explain the breakthrough in my thinking that I had on Sunday. But basically, God exposed the fact that I'm relying on circumstances. I'm trusting that *everything* will be ok. And by *everything* I mean my circumstances. And if everything could just be ok, then He's good and trustworthy. But I realized that I need to trust in Him NO MATTER WHAT the circumstances.

I waver to believe Truth. But Truth is beginning to peak through.

On more practical news, there are a few *life* things on our plate.

First, Olivia's 5th birthday is on the 19th. We're trying to decide if we should go ahead with the Build-A-Bear Workshop birthday party she wants, or offer her to choose an American Girl Doll instead. Oh the decisions of a parent!

And on another front, a friend made a suggestion that makes a lot of sense. She suggested getting a "nanny" for the next several months. Someone to hire to come in for 5-7 hours a day during the week so that Steve can get to work and so I can spend my energy on being with the kids but not running around getting milk and wiping butts. I have someone in mind and am praying she says yes. The barrier right now is financial. Praying that maybe some of you, who have offered to help, would perhaps pray and consider contributing to a "nanny fund" instead. I figure it would cost us about $1,000 a month to make it worth her time. Go to the Caring for E website for future details to see how you can contribute.

Oh, one more thing, on that website, we've extended the meals for another month... just to get through this first round of chemo to see how it goes.

I have a CT scan and blood work this afternoon at 2pm. Prayers welcome!

Saturday, February 5, 2011

In the raw

Thanks for all the comments. Not sure what to tell you today. Lots has happened, although I barely got off the sofa. (I went to O's soccer game and it took a lot out of me.) It was gloomy and snowy and freezing.

I faced a few fears today. I called a good friend of over 10 years who faced uterine cancer a few years ago. I was almost embarrassed to call her because I have not talked to her in a long time and I sucked as a friend as she went through her crisis. I was scared to talk to her because I've been unable to talk to anyone who has been down this road. I don't know why. For me ignorance has been bliss? But I did it. It was good. On lots of fronts.

I've been paralyzed to eat much. I've lost nearly 25 lbs in the past 3 weeks (granted they removed half of my insides and tumors and fluid.) But I've gotten advice on eat this, don't eat that for cancer and for surgery recovery which has left me incapacitated. I've basically been eating toast with peanut butter and tea. I had soup, chips and cheese and a diet 7-Up today. It was a victory. I never thought I'd say this, but I am getting too thin. (156 down to 131.... gross.)

I also got honest with Steve, God and myself this afternoon. I emotionally vomited all over the three of us. Guess what? I'm not strong. I'm not amazing. I'm not positive. I'm not sure I'll beat this. I'm not sure I'm ready to surrender to what God's Will is. I'm mad at Him. I think I've gotten a raw deal this past year. I could go on and on (and might in the days to come.) A friend spoke some truth to me today. It was needed. It was a step in the right direction. It was ugly. It was honest and it was good.

I also told Olivia about my hair today. It was scary. It was sad. She cried. She said, "So you're going to be like a bald girl?" She told me she didn't want me to lose my hair and she cried. Then we snuggled. I think we will cry more in the days to come. But I think we are going to be okay.

So, that's the real deal around here. I'm moody. I'm on edge. I'm no hero. I need Jesus.

Friday, February 4, 2011

In which I found my words

Sorry I didn't post yesterday after my appointment. I just didn't have it in me. Not because the appointment was bad, per say, but more because it sucked all the resources that I have out of me.

Let's just say reality smacked me in the face yesterday afternoon.

I am not even sure how to summarize things here. Basically, I still don't have a start date for chemo (it's a little complicated.) I'll either start at the end of next week or the beginning of the following week. It depends on a few factors that will be decided early next week.

I don't think I'll get too technical on here, because really, unless you're me or near family, you probably don't care. But I will tell you that I had a few panic attacks in the office. Some because I don't have any hormones left to deal with life (and they can't give me a patch b/c of the chemo) and some because a lot of this is hard to deal with.

We talked about me losing my hair. I mean, it's not my favorite, but it will grow back. I'm worried sick about my kids. Mainly Olivia. I found out it will mostly fall out shortly after my first round. So, I've got about 3 weeks left. And OF COURSE I decided over the summer to start growing it out. So its the longest its ever been. Ah, vanity. I'm praying and trying to decide when the best time to tell Olivia is. I'm sure I'm projecting stuff on her. Kids are resilient and will surprise you a lot of the time. It's just overwhelming.

They offered a prescription for a wig. I cried again. The thought of a wig is rough for me. But I reserve the right to change my mind.

It's all scary. Overwhelming. But I know it will also help me. I'm trying to be thankful for chemo. I'm trying to be thankful that my kids will *hopefully* grow up being compassionate for people who are sick.

Speaking of sick... O was diagnosed with strep throat at the doctor yesterday. She seems better. Turner started throwing up at 5:00 tonight. Oh, how I'm praying it doesn't sweep this house. He seems like he's rallying... pray he will.

Steve's mom, bless her heart, went home today. She spent two solid weeks sleeping on our couch (we *need* a bigger house.) I don't know how she did it, but she served us cheerfully the whole time. I am thankful to have in-laws that I love and enjoy. I know she is glad to be back with my father-in-law and sleeping in her own bed. I was overwhelmed yesterday, thinking of her leaving, wondering how we'll get along. It's been tiring today, but we're making it. Tons of people have asked to help, and now it's time to take them up on it.

For someone who didn't know what to say, I managed to use a lot of words. Pray for me. Pray for us. We could use it. I have waves of panic. And then waves of trust in the Lord. I guess that's life, huh?

Thursday, February 3, 2011


Welcome to my 500th post. Who knew? When I started this thing, Turner was a baby, Quinn was a hope and a dream and cancer was something *other people got.* Now, my mom has passed, Quinn is a thriving 3 year old Koproski and Olivia turns five in 16 days (oh crap, I better get on planning that party!)

I hate that on the 500th post I have to ask you to pray that I will stop freaking out. This afternoon at 1:45 I have my appointment with Dr. Reid. I think today I will find out what all is going on for sure and I think I'll learn what the plan is from here on out. When my first chemo will be (I'm assuming it will be really soon) and get to ask some questions that have begun to spring into my head.

I am a touch looking forward to the appointment. Only because I want to get this show on the road. If I've got to do it, I've got to do it.

Ironically, Steve is at the doctor's office with Olivia right now. This is the fourth day that she's had a fever. Now she is complaining of a sore throat. When I was trying to get her dressed and told her daddy was taking her to the doctor she started crying hysterically (that's a first. None of my kids have ever minded going to the doctor until today.) She wanted to know if she was getting a shot? I told her I didn't think so, but the doctor would do whatever it takes to make her better.

She started yelling that she didn't want medicine because she doesn't like spicy things. I could totally relate. I had trouble being patient and really had to pray that God would give me the ability to be patient, kind and loving to her. I hate that she has to go to the doctor. I hate that she has to do something that she doesn't want to do. I wish she felt better.

At the same time I wanted to scream in her face, "Oh yeah, well at least you don't have to take chemo." Which I didn't do. Because that *might* be considered child abuse. But I could have compassion. Because guess what? I don't want to go to the doctor today either. I don't want to take medicine. I don't want to get a shot.

Of course, I didn't miss the spiritual parallel. God hates that I have to go to the doctor, he hates that I have to do something I don't want to do. He wants me to feel better. But honestly, in that moment, I wasn't wowed by the spiritual parallel. I, like Olivia, just don't want to do this.

I prayed for her (which might have secretly been a prayer for me too.) Asking that she would have courage and bravery and that Jesus would be close to her while she was at the doctor. I also prayed and thanked God that he has gifted doctors with wisdom and knowledge on how to heal. But of course, it is God who does the healing.

So there you have it. Pray for me at 1:45 today. I'll try and give an update of what we find out later today or maybe tomorrow. In the meantime, thanks for your prayers. I'm really relying on them.

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Because life isn't crazy enough right now

Last night at about 8:30, I started to get scared. Other than a sick kid, healing up from major surgery and wondering when I might be starting chemo, things were pretty good yesterday.
Until 8:30. It started raining ice.
And the wind started blowing.
And things in our neighborhood started cracking and crashing.
Neighbors would pop their heads out their doors to find out whose tree it was this time.
This branch broke and swung real close to the house, but stopped short of hitting it. I just started wondering if along side of all this other stuff, we would now have to find somewhere else to live while we repaired our home.
Thankfully, it didn't come to that. At about 10:30 the temps warmed up and it started to rain, relieving some of the ice. It turned back into ice and woke the boys up around 3am.

Steve went into their room to find Turner hiding under his pillow and Quinn hunkered down in the corner of his bottom of the bunk bed.
So we went to plan B.

Apparently, plan B is pull the mattresses off the bunk beds and out of the room into the adjacent play room. That did the trick. The boys went back to sleep and woke up like happy little clams this morning.
Steve is currently outside trying to break up some of the ice on the side walks. Still not sure what to do about the limbs. We have a call in to a tree guy (as does half of Dayton.) They should get to us sometime this month.
I guess this just goes to show, when it rains, it pours! (I promised you pics, right? So here you go!)

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Iced in

It's official, our sunny day yesterday was gobbled up by an ice storm today. We woke up to a beautiful scene out side of our window, like something out of The Lord of the Rings. It was a good thing there was no school today because about 7:00 last night, Olivia started throwing up. Yep, just about what we need around here, the stomach flu.

I hate that I've been pretty useless around here. My extent of helping is moving from one couch to another. With an occasional clearing of plates from the dinner table and the reading of bed time stories. But when vomit started flying, I was outtie. I mean seriously, if I'm going to start chemo within the next week, the last thing I need is the stomach flu. We are all begging for God's mercy that this thing doesn't spread like wild fire. She is on the mend tonight. Last time she threw up was 8:00 this morning and she was able to keep down liquids and eat some dry Cheerios.

I didn't leave my house today. Which will literally drive me batty. But I suppose one complete day of rest is good for me.

Looks like we are to get more ice tonight. I'm hoping for one more day off of school so that O can rest up without missing school. We'll see.

Hopefully one of these days I'll get around to taking some pictures so that its not just all of this dreary health talk. For real, I'm depressing myself around here. Cute pics soon, I promise.