Thursday, February 3, 2011

500

Welcome to my 500th post. Who knew? When I started this thing, Turner was a baby, Quinn was a hope and a dream and cancer was something *other people got.* Now, my mom has passed, Quinn is a thriving 3 year old Koproski and Olivia turns five in 16 days (oh crap, I better get on planning that party!)

I hate that on the 500th post I have to ask you to pray that I will stop freaking out. This afternoon at 1:45 I have my appointment with Dr. Reid. I think today I will find out what all is going on for sure and I think I'll learn what the plan is from here on out. When my first chemo will be (I'm assuming it will be really soon) and get to ask some questions that have begun to spring into my head.

I am a touch looking forward to the appointment. Only because I want to get this show on the road. If I've got to do it, I've got to do it.

Ironically, Steve is at the doctor's office with Olivia right now. This is the fourth day that she's had a fever. Now she is complaining of a sore throat. When I was trying to get her dressed and told her daddy was taking her to the doctor she started crying hysterically (that's a first. None of my kids have ever minded going to the doctor until today.) She wanted to know if she was getting a shot? I told her I didn't think so, but the doctor would do whatever it takes to make her better.

She started yelling that she didn't want medicine because she doesn't like spicy things. I could totally relate. I had trouble being patient and really had to pray that God would give me the ability to be patient, kind and loving to her. I hate that she has to go to the doctor. I hate that she has to do something that she doesn't want to do. I wish she felt better.

At the same time I wanted to scream in her face, "Oh yeah, well at least you don't have to take chemo." Which I didn't do. Because that *might* be considered child abuse. But I could have compassion. Because guess what? I don't want to go to the doctor today either. I don't want to take medicine. I don't want to get a shot.

Of course, I didn't miss the spiritual parallel. God hates that I have to go to the doctor, he hates that I have to do something I don't want to do. He wants me to feel better. But honestly, in that moment, I wasn't wowed by the spiritual parallel. I, like Olivia, just don't want to do this.

I prayed for her (which might have secretly been a prayer for me too.) Asking that she would have courage and bravery and that Jesus would be close to her while she was at the doctor. I also prayed and thanked God that he has gifted doctors with wisdom and knowledge on how to heal. But of course, it is God who does the healing.

So there you have it. Pray for me at 1:45 today. I'll try and give an update of what we find out later today or maybe tomorrow. In the meantime, thanks for your prayers. I'm really relying on them.

12 comments:

jenny from mommin' it up said...

been thinking about you all morning! I know you will get encouragement at the dr. today. My prayer is that you take the encouragement as truth. Don't second-guess it! Praying for O, too. I hate that you have to do this too. But there will be glory, I know it!

One chance at this life said...

Praying today for you and especially at 1:45!!!

Joyce said...

I will pray today...hoping all goes well with your appt. and that your daughter also feels better. Take care.

betseykerr said...

Praying for you today, and I know God will be with you every step of the way...To put on my therapist hat a moment, sometimes when kids have a lot going on they tend to "cry over spilled milk"...sort of can't articulate the big stuff going on, but find the 'okay' areas to have a fit over, which is often the little things in life...sometimes it feels like a little bit of regression in age, etc...ok, I'll be quite now, just thought it could help...Hope both of you are healed soon!

vwiller said...

I am wrapping you in a big prayer hug today! Having some questions answered should help a bit. I have a 5 year old a week from tomorrow. Make O feel like a princess...you can focus on that!

Traci said...

Praying for you...and eager to hear how things went. Seriously E. You're on my mind most of the day.

Karen said...

yes, please give us an update tonight or tomorrow. Just reading this at 6.30 so I missed praying for the appt, but right now I'm praying for God's peace and rest in your soul, and that you continue to see "the goodness of the Lord" amidst all this.

Meg said...

Praying E. What's the word? Will continue to pray for you and the fam.

Love,
Meg

Greg&Kara said...

Thinking of u while i watch idol. Hope u got some answers today. Hope olivia gets better and good for u for being patient with her. I can understand her concern witj doctors after all her mom has been thru recently!

Stacie@HobbitDoor said...

Congrats on the 500th (how do you put that?!) post! Praying you found the strength you needed for today and for it to find you again in the morning. Praying you sleep well and all your children sleep well tonight. Grace and peace.

rose said...

Praying for you, at this time I know the appointment has come and gone and I am praying that you have peace about the path your doctor set forth. Let God hold your hand on that path, carry you on that path and know that sometimes he is going to tell you to walk that path. Know that so many people have you on their hearts all day long.

Megan said...

So, I grew up in Xenia, Ohio for 11 years. I know Katie Voigt really well and got to know her through an AIA tour I took to North Africa in the summer of 2008. She alerted us to be praying for you.

I am currently playing basketball over in Turkey, and have had some down time today. I was looking through some old notes from sermons on my computer, and the Lord prompted me to send the notes below to you!

Praying for YOU!!!

FIGHTING FEAR

1 John 4:10-20

How do you fight FEAR? With the love of God!!
Perfect Love – put other people first.

It is not wise to live in Fear when you can walk in the LOVE of Jesus.

1. Don’t stop moving!

a. Don’t get crippled.

b. “Fear is not a tyrant that you tolerate. Fear is an enemy that you expel!!”

c. Keep struggling…when you lose or give up you stop fighting!

d. Vs. 12

e. Love our neighbors in practical ways!

f. Fear and Love cannot dwell in the same vessel – Go serve somebody!

g. Shift the focus away from yourself and start loving someone else.

h. When stagnation sets in, FEAR is quick to follow.

2. Predict the Enemies’ Movement.

a. John 8:44 – The Devil is a Liar

b. Fear is the most efficient and most effective arsenal the devil has.

c. 2 Cor. 2: 9-11 – We know how the devil fights!

d. Some of us start defeated already by just standing around…by the power of God’s grace we move!

e. A moving target is harder to hit.

3. Eat the Right Stuff.

a. Put the right things in your heart and mind!

b. Vs. 15-16 – Know and rely on the LOVE God has for us.

c. FEAR loses its grip, when we rely on God for our significance and value.

d. Success = Faithfulness

e. God has called YOU to be YOU!!

f. We have the energy and fuel when we “eat the right stuff”

g. Feel value in God’s love!

4. 4. Trust your trainer/teacher.

a. Vs. 13-15

i. Provision – God will provide our every need.
ii. Protection – NO weapon formed against us shall prosper!
iii. Promises – Every promise in the Bible is true.


“I AM WHO GOD SAYS I AM! NOT WHO FEAR SAYS I WILL NEVER BE.

“EVERY SINGLE TIME WE MAKE A CHOICE, WE HAVE A CHOICE TO TRUST GOD, OR WE HAVE A CHOICE TO FEAR.

LOVE WINS AND FEAR LOSES!!!

*This message was preached by Clayton King