The past two days have been a whirlwind. Or more like a tornado. No, actually more like a hurricane. Scrap it... they've actually been a bit more like looking down the barrel of a shot gun. Do you catch my drift? They've sucked.
So, you know that IBS? Yeah, well... it's not. After I went in for the scans on Monday morning, my doctor's office called by that night for us to come in and go over the scans on Tuesday. Cue immediate panic. Doctors don't call you to come in immediately to look at a clear scan. So, I did what I do best, freaked out (and prayed) until noon on Tuesday. Steve took off from work so he could come with me.
The doctor came in and did indeed deliver bad news. Now, rest assured he never actually used the "C" word, but basically he let me know that there are large "suspicious" masses around my ovaries. He said that there are sometimes benign tumors that grow, but mine have fluid, which apparently, is not a good sign. That also explains my bloating (oh the bloating.)
Let me just stop right here and tell you, I've always wondered what I would do if I heard bad news like that. First, all the blood left my face. Then, it decided to work it's way all the way back up into my neck. I just remember sitting there thinking, "Oh my gosh, my neck is on fire. Is this really happening?" He reminded me several more times he was not diagnosing me with ovarian cancer and that my job was to not freak out. Yeah, good luck with that.
So, basically, I went home and started planning my funeral. Deciding who would be a good mom for my kids. While trying not to scare my kids. And so it's gone since Tuesday afternoon. The battle for my mind has been outrageous. Steve and I have prayed like never before. And then... IT began.
God started showing up. But that's for my next post. Because really, this is just too good to be added on here.
Suffice it to say, I'm still freaking out. But hopefully so? Is that possible? 'Cuz if it is, that's where I'm at. We are still praying it is NOT cancer. We won't know for sure until Friday. But I'm believing God for it. And if not, I'm believing God for good! Want to believe with me?