This should be my last night in the hospital. My Dr. was going to send me home tonight, but call me crazy, I asked for one more night. I was suppose to have my morphine drip stopped last night and begin on my oral pain meds, but nurse messed up (I've had some interesting stories to say the least) and she didn't stop the morphine, nor did she begin the new stuff. So my Dr. came in this morning and was surprised to find I had not yet begun my new regimen. He said we could see how it goes and if I felt comfortable going home, I could. Umm.. no thanks. Let's give it a bit more time to make sure it all comes together.
My friend Sally is coming to spend the night with me tonight.
Last night with Susie was a huge success. Despite the fact that Michelle got a rose. Brad MUST be wanting a crazy wife. And if he's in the market for crazy, he is in the right place!
My sweet friend and hair stylist, Aimee, came this morning to hang out and do my hair and nails. Isn't that the sweetest thing? After my shower she was here waiting and I didn't have to dry my own hair. We strolled the halls, chatted about the roller coaster of life and then she did my nails. I felt pretty pampered. Because I no longer have to pull my IV cart around, I can wear regular PJ's and stroll the halls a lot easier. I spent lots of time walking in circles. I honestly feel at my best when I'm walking. I worry about being at home because there is no where to walk. It's January in Ohio. It's cold and snowy. I cant just head out the front door and walk around the block. I need to find a place to walk. There are lots of obvious solutions, but I can't drive as long as I'm on my meds. Pray for me to figure out a solution.
Fear today has come in just a few waves. I can feel the prayers, though. I've found if I tell someone of my fear and we pray they go away pretty quick. They come again, but I just repeat the above. Maybe I should always be doing that and not just in crisis mode, huh? Or else, maybe life is crisis mode!
I'm excited to see my kids tomorrow. Excited and nervous. Pray they will be gentle. And not demanding. Pray that we'll just enjoy each other. That we'll figure out what this new normal looks like. Pray that I continue to recognize Jesus is all of this. And that I still ask for help.
Oh, and it looks like I'm back in for another season of American Idol. Obviously, I was a bit distracted last week, so I have yet to really formulate any opinions on the new judges. Should be an interesting ride. Since you can't have relational train wrecks every night of the week, a good filler seems to be talent train wrecks.
You have a good night and I'll see you from my brown couch tomorrow!