Thursday, January 27, 2011

Mall rat

I got up this morning feeling pretty refreshed. I had a pretty good first night home. After having some breakfast, Steve the boys and I went to the mall where I was able to spend about 1/2 hour walking. It was slow going. But it felt good. I didn't really have any *goals* per say, but just wanted to walk and get things moving. Plus it helped the boys burn off some energy to play in the play are and it gave Steve's mom a break as she ran out and got some groceries and such. Steve's mom has been a saint and a huge help this past week. I'm not sure what we would do right now without her.

I've once again been up and down on the emotional roller coaster. Most of the day was pretty good. And then when it starts to approach evening time I begin to get the blues. I battle lies. Lies about God's character and the hope of my future. I asked Steve to pray with me. We did battle in the heavenlies. And I calmed down a bit. So if you think of me around dinner times, please pray that I would take thoughts captive and trust in Jesus. I can really invent a story and run with it. So, instead, I'm trying to focus on God and what He's already done for me thus far. But I'll tell you what, friends, this is hard stuff.

My friend, Susie, made a new website to help me out. There have been so many people (maybe even you reading this) from near and far who have offered to help. We've got meals covered through the middle of February, which is so nice. But this thing is going to go on for months. So, Susie set up a *blog* of sorts that people can go to and check in and see what kind of help we need and they can sign up to be on a call list of sorts.

Here is the link. If nothing else, it's a really cool thing (definitely cooler than this blog) and I'm blessed to have a talented and caring friend in Susie.

So far, the kids seem to be glad to have me back. Steve is working like a dog around here to keep things together and Steve's mom is exhausted. All in all, I guess you could say things are chugging along. I have to remind myself that my body won't always hurt like this. Each day I see improvement. It's just hard to imagine that right now. Pray that I'll be able to focus on each day as it comes. Please don't stop praying. Please don't stop asking others to pray. There is certainly something in this thing for me on prayer! I'm listening and learning. I hope you are too.

And as I walked through the mall today, I continued to ask Jesus to not stop showing off. He really is amazing!

11 comments:

vwiller said...

First of all I love this blog...it makes me feel like I am not so far away! the other one is fine, but this one is better! I can't begin to imagine what you are going through. I am figuring out the best ways that I can help...and that is not to pack up either my 4, or just the 2 preschoolers and come camp at your house so I can do laundry and make cookies! Sending hugs to my favorite mall rat!! What do you get as your reward for making a certain number of trips around...Mrs. Field's cookie, a warm pretzel, yummy Chai latte....new walking shoes!?

jenny from mommin' it up said...

E I am still praying and praying and praying and I will keep recruiting more pray-ers. Love you! Off to check out Susie's website!

Lisa said...

wow! that new site for you guys is AMAZING! very cool. E, I'm still praying! You know what? I love that you have this blog... 1. because it keeps me knowing how you're doing without having to call you at 4:30-5, which is probably the worst time of the day for you. And 2. because I think not many people riding on the cancer roller-coaster do this. Maybe I'm wrong. But I have some acquaintances here that have kept the whole thing so private. You feel afraid to ask anything when the person is so "doing it on their own". But not you! I love that you live with so much community in general, and then when you go through this... your community comes with you for the ride. It's beautiful! I SSSOOOO wish I could be closer to do lots of things for you.

One thing I can do is send you a REALLY amazing cook book that I've seen on how to fight cancer with what you eat. And I will send you recipes along that line. Saw that things you can freeze in one-person sizes would be good. Which I'm thinking means Steve and the kids wouldn't join you. But this whole thing may bring an eating change for all of you, and that's good! Anyway, I'll find a good few books and send 'em over! Love you!

Anonymous said...

E, Eli and I continue to pray for you and your family. I just wish I were closer to be able to do more than pray but I guess praying is one of the best things I can do for you too so I feel better...

Your transparency always inspires me and even more so now with what you're going through... I'm privileged to know you, E. Love you <3 Sangju

Maria from The B.M.C. Report said...

Praying for your mind, E! Thankful that in the midst of this crazy time Jesus is using you in mighty ways! Excited to check out Susie's fabulous website! Love you friend!

jenny said...

I always loved reading your blog, but I look forward to it even more these days. I am so thankful for your willingness to share your heart. I can't even fathom how much the enemy wants to pull you down with lies and defeat right now. Praying for your mind to be renewed by Jesus's peace and goodness! Bringing dinner on Monday and looking forward to seeing your beautiful face! I'll text you about a drop off time for Monday. Love u!

Joy said...

E, I have been praying for you and I can assure you that people in Asia are too. So you are being covered all around the world and around the clock! Glad you were able to walk around a bit.

Sara@www.tablegrace.net said...

Hey Elizabeth,
My name is Sara Whitlock. My family and I go to Apex and I am 4 months into aggressive chemo for Stage 4 lung cancer (never smoked, 48 years old, no symptoms, holy cow). I remember feeling so overwhelmed at first. If you'd like to talk about what's going on and what you might expect I'm certainly here anytime. My e-mail is sarawhitlock@gmail.com. You can also read of our journey at www.tablegrace.net.
Hold tight, my sister. Get ready for God to show up in amazing ways:)
Love,
Sara

Jeni said...

Hi Elizabeth,
I think you need someone to make you a button that we can paste onto our blogs to link to yours.Praying for you tonight!!

Andrea @ Savings Lifestyle said...

Well I'm a new stalker :) We have been praying for you and will continue to do so as you keep recovering and have treatments!

Christie said...

About those blues you're experiencing--they will be similar to post partum blues. You've had some of your lady bits removed, which provide hormones that help control emotions.
My mom had one ovary removed, and spent a long time getting adjusted to the new normal of fewer hormones.
I will continue to pray for you. But you are not going crazy or anything--your body just has to adjust to your new normal of having fewer hormone makers!