Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Take that you stupid cancer!!!

First off, I have to give a shout out to 5 amazing women from the Oregon District (my neighborhood) who came to my house yesterday while I was at chemo and the boys were at the Y with the nanny and graciously CLEANED MY HOUSE. And I'm not talking just cleaned... I'm talking I might not have cleaned some of these things since I've had kids kind of clean. I may have been *slightly embarrassed* and slightly enternally greatful for your kind heartedness. It truly was amazing and we are so very thankful.

Yesterday was the last chemo day of round 2. It was the quickest one yet (only 5 hours). My friend, Sally, came and spent a few hours with me. It was nice to not have to talk, but then at the end when it was time to *walk and talk* she went with me. (At the end of each abdomenal chemo, I spend some of the final hour walking and trying to get my belly full of fluids moving... that with the fatigue are the two worst parts of this thing.) It was nice to have a friend come and see my new life.

Day 8 (yesterday) of the 21 day cycle isn't all that bad. I get the steroids and once the fluid is a bit re-distributed (it usually takes 6-8 hours later to not feel so bloated), I feel pretty good. Now I have 13 days until the next chemo day. It feels like a bit of a relief. Although this Friday I have to go in to the hospital and get labs drawn and then go for a CT scan. I guess I will have to get one every other cycle to make sure there are no new tumors. And as long as my numbers keep going down and stay down, it would be unlikely that there would be. But it is good to keep multiple checks on things.

I have to say, I'm not looking forward to Friday. Just having to go in on an "off" day and spend 3 hours at the hospital is a bummer. It is such a reminder that my life is not my own. I've said before, this doctor's office now *owns* me. They tell me when and where to be... they don't ask. And then the following week on my truly off week, I get to go in on Thursday for labs and an appointment with the doctor. Which is good. He checks in with me. See's how I'm doing. Goes over blood work etc. But it's still scary. And I HAVE to do it.

I continue to nearly constantly have to give my worries over to God. I just wonder if I will ever get over this? I mean I will have to do these scans every three months for the first two years. And then every six for the next three. There will always be a fresh way to trust Jesus with my worries. I guess that is good?!

Please pray that I would enjoy my week(s) until the next round. I tend to already look ahead or feel bummed about Friday or worry that a new symptom will creep up and prevent me from enjoying... instead of just enjoying. Sounds exhausting to be me, doesn't it?! Ugh. Thanks for hanging in there with me.
**Disclaimer** for some odd reason my spell check wasn't working.. please excuse any typos. I wasn't in the mood to wait.

11 comments:

Anonymous said...

Thankful for your friends nearby take care of you. Praying that you're able to enjoy your time away from the hospital and that your numbers go down and stay that way!

Thanks for keeping us updated so we can pray more specifically. You're teaching me to let go and let God with issues in my life through this...just wish you didn't have to go through it.

Carrie

Karen said...

so thankful for your friends nearby who are surrounding you with love! It's unbelievably humbling to be on the receiving end of so much love and service, I know. And yet, this is the body of Christ at its very best! So thankful you're a part of it! Praying for you!

One chance at this life said...

That is so awesome to hear about the house cleaning and just in time for SPRING!!! That must feel so good for you!! What a blessing!!! :):) You are doing an amazing job with all your treatments!!! Thanks for your updates.....it encourages me to continue praying for you on a regular basis.

cindy q said...

E, I so resonate with thinking into the future and allowing the dread to ruin the current moment. I did this a lot as a child. I would often say things like, "Life will be good when my spelling test on Friday is over." My mom, seeing this pattern in my life, would say, "THIS is the day that the Lord has made, NOT tomorrow" I still have to preach that verse to myself. Life will be good when Ross is done with his jury duty, Oh yeah! This is the day that the Lord has made, not in 2 weeks when he will hopefully be done. Love ya!

jenny from mommin' it up said...

yay for the spring cleaning! Jesus Calling today (are you tired of me quoting this to you yet?)says "I do My greatest works through people with grateful, trusting hearts." I think you fall into this category, E, fears and all. Love you. And I miss you! I want to see your face!

Rose said...

Hi E, catching up on your latest blogs. I am glad to see you are having good days and that you always find a way to put God in the center of all. Very cool how you were able to pray with the lady at chemo one day. I know God will present more opportunities for that to happen again. Every Tuesday when my ladies group leaves, I keep telling myself I need to send you the book we are reading. I think of you all the time as I read it. Captivating is the title. All about how God created us as his crown jewel, the beauty of women and how we mortal woman struggle with all of it. I think you will like it! I continue to pray for you and I think I will focus on the issue of fatigue, praying that you find rest, not overwhelming fatigue, but that when you do have that fatigue that He finds a way to remind you to take it day by day. Thanks for your blog, it always inspires.

Jeni said...

So glad you are done with another round!! Praying that the next couple days go well.

Stacie@HobbitDoor said...

Yay for the ladies who cleaned your house! Yay for a week off! Praying for you.

Anonymous said...

Hi!! We are still here and praying nearly every day!! What great support you have!!! Thank God for a clean house!!!! I don't think my house knows clean. I'm praying for you to have a great time off of chemo....that the fatigue will lift and you can enjoy the warmer weather. We love you guys!!!! Dan and Michelle

Anonymous said...

Sounds like you already have this covered by awesome friends, but in case you don't already know about this, a friend of mine said this service offers to clean your house 1x per month free for 4 months if you are in cancer treatment. Looks like they are in Dayton, too.

http://www.cleaningforareason.org/maidservice.php

The Halters said...

You've been on my mind a lot. At first, wondering what I can do or how I can help. I am off on most Fridays if there is something you need done or just have someone to just be with you. I am going through some things myself and I understand at least for me how it can be difficult to ask for MY needs to be taken care of. Then after reflecting like this I am reminded that whoever helps in a 3D manner....God is our Strength and our Redeemer. You are in my prayers for His balm, encouragement, and wisdom. Blessings, dear Elizabeth.