Thought I should let you all know that I'm feeling much better this morning. My tendency is to apologize for that rather bleak post last night. But honestly, I needed your prayers. And the comments were so encouraging and uplifting. So thank you.
After I posted I went to bed. That is so unlike me. I slept on and off and when I woke up it was 9 pm and time to take my meds and go to bed. Where I slept great the whole night. I woke up and the bloating was gone. And I pooped (sorry... tmi) but that is a big deal because last round I had major diarrhea and stomach pains and this time the dr had me take Imodium the day before and it really helped. But then I was worried I'd be backed up for days. But it worked like a charm.
I am so thankful that although today I have some exhaustion, I'm not worried about poop or my stomach or lounging around for that matter. It is what it is today and it will pass.
I did want to share an encouraging story from yesterday's chemo. Not to brag on myself but to brag on where the Lord has brought me. Last chemo round I was so riddled with fear I couldn't tell you who else was in the chemo room with me. This round has been so much free-er. I can't even tell you what a world of difference that has made.
We were there about an hour as I was getting all my pre-chemo meds and some hydration. This lady, Cindy walked in. She looked terrible. Just really really sick. Turns out she was there to get hydrated and help because she was in fact really really sick. I felt burdened for Steve and I to pray for her at our chair. I over heard her counts are all very low and she needs a blood transfusion. She had to wait and get it today because she needed something that had to be ordered. Anyhow, over the next hour she got all kinds of drugs, including morphine to help her pain. She looked miserable. I finally heard her tell the nurse something about praying and trusting God. So when I was finally able, I got up and walked over to her and introduced myself. I let her know that I heard her talking about prayer and that I just wanted her to know that I had been praying for her all morning. She started crying. I asked if I could pray for her right there and she said of course. We held hands and prayed and asked God to deliver her from her pain and that her counts would be up in time for her surgery in three weeks (I have no idea what surgery.) We got done and she was crying again.
By the time she left she was stronger and able to walk and even grabbed a candy bar on the way out.
I share that not to say, "Oh look what a good person I am and how other's centered I am." Because believe me, I'm not. I just wanted to thank God that I am not so riddled with fear anymore that I can't look outside of my own situation. There are so many stories going on around us and so many times I'm so self-focused I miss the opportunities. That is one thing I hope cancer is changing about me!