Thursday, March 10, 2011

One more step behind us

It started on Saturday. The dreaded day when I brushed my hair and a few strands came out. I knew it was coming. It wasn't a surprise. But it was dreaded.

I had a plan with my friend, Aimee, to call when it got bad enough and she would come shave my head. Monday seemed just a tad too soon. So she came on Tuesday afternoon. I knew she was coming and starting Monday night I started getting anxious. I asked Olivia if she wanted to watch or not watch. She wanted to watch. I asked Steve the same thing. He said he didn't really care either way. I decided I needed him there.

So I took these pictures, cried for a minute and then closed my eyes and held hands with Olivia. She was so brave. Braver than I was.
When we finished, I took a deep breath and went to look in the mirror. I look like a character from that tv show, V.
We immediately got out my wig and tried it on. Then we went through my box of hats. I took an hour to myself and felt sad. Then I went to show the boys. Turner laughed (punk) and Quinn declared, "Mommy, we are not scared." Good.
Then yesterday morning when I came down dressed and ready Olivia said, "Mom, you look awesome!" I went to the kitchen to see if Steve put her up to it. He claims he didn't. It brought tears to my eyes.
One of these days I'll get brave and put the "after" pics up. I'm just not quite ready yet.
And one more piece of good news... I had blood drawn on Tuesday. Someone from the Dr's office called yesterday to let me know some levels. (I still don't know the lingo... but there is a certain level that lets you know the cancer in your body.) Before my surgery it was something like 3,500 (its suppose to be 10 or something like that.) After my surgery it was 151. After this first chemo round it was down to 55. That means that the chemo is working (at least for now.) Please pray that it will continue to bring my numbers all the way down to remission... and cured forever. I am thankful that God chose to reveal to me that His hand is in this... even though regardless of the circumstances, His hand IS in this. I'm getting there to believe it no matter what. But it was very gracious for him to show me this little piece of evidence. Praise the Lord!

14 comments:

Joyce said...

Really great news about your levels! Love your sweet daughter's comment too....stay strong!

vwiller said...

I am so happy to hear the good news!

vwiller said...

One time when I was pumping right after I had Andrew the 2 year old Steven mooed at me...I cried and should have called him a punk too! I don't know why that made me think of that random memory of boys being punks but I did and chose to ignore the filter...hope it makes you smile!!

Karen said...

great news!! love you friend!

Momma of The B.M.C. Report said...

Sweet O's comment brought me to tears. I love the way Jesus uses our kids to show His goodness and love. Great news on the levels and as you know, this all is just one more step to putting it all behind you. Hugs to you my friend!

betseykerr said...

Great news! Just like O said "I am sure you look beautiful!"

Missy said...

Thank you for being so brave and sharing your story...I came accross your blog via a friend a few weeks ago.
You and I don't know each other...but you are such an inspiration whether you know it or not!
Sending good thoughts your way from New York.

Amber said...

so awesome about your levels!!!!! so awesome to know all of the meds flowing into your body are doing their job! just as you prayed that Jesus would be flowing in right along with them!!!

Lisa said...

you look gorgeous my friend! and you'll look awesome without hair whenever you choose to post a pic. SUCH wonderful news about your levels. Adorable O... and Quinn, too. How precious! You were bound to have one punk... it's what boys do best when they're little. **hug** from NJ!!

Stacie@HobbitDoor said...

O is adorable and so are you! You are beautiful. Thank you for sharing. So happy to hear your numbers are up and things are looking up clinically! Woohoo!

jenny said...

SUCH awesome news about your levels!!! And I am certain you look beautiful! That picture of you and O made me teary....you are both so beautiful! I know it was probably an incredibly hard step in this process....thanks for sharing your heart about it. Love you!

The Halters said...

you are beautiful :) and i am so thankful for the reduced levels. i am also thankful for the support of your family :) such love....

blessings.....

Rachel said...

Oh, the precious pic of you and O holding hands! You are a good mum...and you are beautiful! Praising Jesus for your news!

Marisa said...

I hope your new look grows on you and that you will feel beautiful despite losing your hair. So glad your numbers are doing well!