Here at our house it is Chemo Eve (which is not nearly as exciting nor as romantic as Christmas Eve!) Turner seems to be doing better. I took my last anti biotic this morning (although I am pretty congested and my ears are a bit plugged up. I don't have a fever but feel not 100%) I'm pretty sure they will go ahead with chemo tomorrow, but this is not the way I would prefer it!
This morning when Olivia was eating breakfast she told me she couldn't finish because her throat hurt too bad. We whisked her off to Urgent Care (NOT my first choice, but what are you going to do on a Sunday morning on Chemo Eve?) She was swabbed on Thursday for strep and came back negative but the Urgent Care doc gave her a prescription for the same anti biotic T and I are on- with out swabbing her, I might add. He also gave her something for congestion. She took a long nap this after noon and looks like crap right now. She is hugging a bowl and I'm just praying she doesn't throw up too. **Update, I had to leave before I posted this to help her throw up. Ugh!!****
I am happy to report I have barely battled anxiety over chemo tomorrow. I'm not looking forward to it, but I have not had a panic attack. Tomorrow I will be introduced to another new chemo. It is the one I am getting because I am in the study. It is also the one that I will continue to get when this 6 round push is over. There are, of course, possible side affects. Including high blood pressure (over time) and nose bleeds. Please pray I would tolerate it well over the long haul, this is the one they feel everyone should be getting for ovarian cancer to up the cure rate. I, naturally, am thankful yet nervous.
Tuesday is the big dog chemo drug. It goes in my belly and wiped me out last time. I'm nervous but thankful to have a bit better of an idea what to expect. But now with sick kids and a bit of a head cold on top of chemo, I feel the fear creeping in.
As well as ugly and wrong ideas of who God is. I'm battling in my mind. And thankful for an amazing husband who battles in prayer with me. Please, please please battle with us. I know God's grace will come rushing in when I need it... it certainly has thus far. And I must be a very slow learner, but I think I'm starting to get that grace doesn't mean I don't get a head cold, or sick kids or cancer, but I get the strength to make it through when I do. With my faith in God intact. And hopefully, my relationships too!
So... tomorrow at 8 am please pray for me (and my fear/anxiety.)
Pray that this congestion would lift/ not develop into anything worse.
Pray that I would do well with this last new drug.
Pray for sweet Olivia to feel better.
Pray that Steve would NOT GET SICK. Oh my, I can't even think what would happen. (God's grace required!!!)
Pray that I would trust God to hold me this week.
Thank you for your prayers and love. I can't tell you how much they mean! I'll post when I can. Have a good week.