Houston, we have a problem

Frankly, yesterday was not one of our better days. About somewhere in the morning time I realized, I'd like a break from MYSELF. Hmmm... that doesn't bode well, cuz, goodluckwiththat. While I am beside myself with excitement over this whole leaving for China to get a new kid thing, I'm pretty much consumed with it. Its all I think about, all I spend my time doing, and even all I blog about these days.

Well... I guess my two current kids were trying to help me get my eyes off myself yesterday. It was meltdown city around here. Now, I realize Turner is coming off an ear infection (and honestly, I'm not convinced he's actually feeling better, given the course of events yesterday) and his sister got to reap the fruits of over indulgent with a sick little brother around. But yesterday's behavior by my two loves was utterly ridiculous.

We were to meet our friends at the Greene (our version of the outdoor shopping town center) complete with daily live music near the fountain area where kids love to strip down to their skivvies and run, shriek and get wet. I had a few errands to do for the trip so we headed down a half hour early so I could knock those out before the fun started.

We didn't even break the threshold of the first store when Turner started WAILING. The kind of screaming and crying that makes people's head spin off their shoulders because they are sure they are going to see blood and guts. Yep, we stayed in that store exactly 2 minutes and 17 seconds.

On to the second store. Yeah, right. Ok, with a real smooth parenting move we went straight to the fountains. I just can't take the screaming. (It's been going on since Friday.) He managed to have a miserable time for the next 35 minutes. Scream, crying, laying on the ground pounding his fists. I tried holding him, putting him down, getting him a drink, a snack, I tried speaking kindly, firmly, not at all. Finally I just gave up and let him have his tantrum.

A lady approached me. (I feared she may be with family services) and commented on Turner (who wouldn't). I had noticed earlier she had a *few* kids herself (later found out there were 8 of them.) Clearly she had seen us.. and heard us. After about 15 seconds of chit chat she says to me, "Has anyone ever shared the Gospel with you?"

OH MY GOODNESS! The first thought that ran through my head was, did I look like that bad of a mom. This woman thinks I'm lost (which CLEARLY I am, and OBVIOUSLY I need Jesus!!! I'm not saying I don't) Its just the irony of the whole event is that I had to tell her that I am in FULL TIME CHRISTIAN MINISTRY.

Pretty much wanted to crawl under a rock and die there. But it was super helpful at the same time. After she left, I prayed silently to myself and confessed my sin- of impatience with my kids. Later that night Steve and I prayed together... this adoption trip has brought us to the end of ourselves this week. We've been mean to each other, to the kids and we've started relying on our own strength (we've turned into complete stress balls.)

So, while I wish that lady would have come over and simply offered prayer for me as she saw me in need (actually a GREAT reminder to me and how I approach people I deem as "lost") I do think God used her in my life. I feel like I am back on track- at least for the moment- and I'm just hoping there is a great attitude shift in my kids today. I really could use that!