Thursday, July 9, 2009

Reality Check

Guess what adoption means? It means you're actually getting a kid. Oh, crap!

A little late to be realizing THAT, huh? Don't get me wrong, I couldn't be more thrilled about leaving to meet and bring home Quinn two weeks from today. But I guess along with the countdown comes a reality check.

Things around here have been going pretty well lately. We're in what you might call a good groove. And we're about to turn that good groove on its head. You know what? I really like good grooves.

I remember the same thing happened when my due date with O came (and went). The night before she was due I sat in her room and cried. You see, I'm not one for change. I don't do so well. I usually like it once its here (or at least embrace it even if I don't necessarily like it) but prior to change I can get myself really worked up. The day before Turner was due, I sat in his room and cried (and then 8 days later, life actually changed... but I'm not bitter). You see, life was in a good groove then too.

I'm not exactly sure where I'll go to cry the night before we get on the plane for China (we're fresh outta rooms) but I'm sure I will. And you know what, that's okay. Because even though the good groove's gonna go to pot for awhile; an even better groove will take its place (at least it always has in the past.)

So what if Quinn may not like me when he meets me? (although Olivia assures me he will. She told me the other day, "Of course he'll like you! You're a GREAT Mama." So sweet!) So what if he is nearly 2 and drinking out of a bottle? (shivers are running down my spine as we speak) So what if he doesn't understand English? (The way Olivia runs her mouth he'll be fluent in a week.) So what if there is sibling rivalry? (What kind of family would we be without it?) So what if I can't put him in Church or the Y childcare for months? (All the more time to bond with each other.)

There are so many pessimistic ways to look at the change about to rock my world (I'm really a glass half empty kinda person as much as I hate it!) but what I'm focusing on today, right now, is the joy of this adoption! The life (lives) that will be changed. The adventure that we are about to begin as a family. The privileged that we have to bring Quinn into our family. So many positives.

Please feel free to remind me of all that when you find me in a heap bawling my eyes out in the corner of some room the evening of July 22nd, thankyouverymuch!

1 comment:

KTC said...

oh, I am SO with you on the glass half empty! I also resist change. I have to work so hard to keep an open mind. But...the Holy Spirit helps!
Anyway, thinking of you so much as you start this new adventure. Let's talk!!!