Saturday, April 2, 2011
The past two days have been pretty good. I'm still flying pretty high from the good news on Thursday. I've been feeling great and doing my normal routine. That always feels good. But now it's Saturday and Monday looms near. I'm trying real hard to focus on today and let Monday be Monday. But it's hard. Here's a weird thing. Over the past 8 weeks or so I've suffered from a high number of migraines. I've had migraines on and off over the past 15 years. But it would be like two or three a year. I'll admit, I used to think migraines were for lazy people who just wanted to go lay down. And then I got one. I changed my tune real quick. Mine start with weird spotty vision. Then my face or hands go numb. And then I have this strange memory loss. I can't complete a sentence and I forget words. The first time all of this happened I thought I was having a stroke. In the *old days* all of that would be followed by a crazy bad headache. The past several weeks (perhaps this is God's mercy on my life) I have not had the crazy bad headache. It just seems to resolve itself. But all the other symptoms are odd and distracting enough (not to mention the fear that the blinding headache is coming) to put me out for a few hours. I had one last night when we were out with some friends. So today I've had to battle worrying about *what if* I get another one. I'm praying that I stop from going down the crazy road of "What if I have these weekly for the rest of my life?" or "What if they get worse?" You see, it's always something with me. Steve asked me a good question. He said, "Well, what if you do get one?" Umm... it stinks. But I guess its not the end of the world. He's right. I need to stop worrying about all the ailments that may be around the corner and do this minute when I feel good. Please pray for me. I'm already projecting into the week. The fatigue, the nausea, the depression. But it's not here TODAY. Plus, my Aunt Sherry is coming tomorrow from Arizona to be with us for the week. It is a bright spot in my week. An extra set of hands. Someone just to be with me. It is something to be thankful for and to look forward to. Not to mention the good news that God is choosing to use chemo to eliminate cancer from my body. Lots and Lots to be thankful for. Pray that I will look to those things and not already be defeated before I even begin. I swear, one of these days I'm gonna get it! Why is it not that easy???