I'm in a bit of a post chemo funk today and have been low on energy most of the week. I usually snap out around today and I guess each round I forget how long it takes. I always think by today I'm back at it. Selective memory, I guess.
One thing going for me this week was the Royal Wedding. Honestly, I didn't think I'd get too into it. I do remember getting up practically in the middle of the night 30 years ago to watch Diana and Charles get married, but NO WAY was I doing that this time around. Thankfully, we have cable and I was able to catch everything in it's entirety at a human hour yesterday. I was fully mesmerized.
The dress, the uniforms, the hats, the crazies, the romance, cutie patootie Prince Harry, the Beckhams. (I'd elaborate more on the awesomeness of David Beckham, but Steve does read the blog and I'm afraid I'll get in trouble.) All of it. Many times on my *rough week*, Friday is the worst. It feels like I should be snapping out of it and I'm not and it can be a really long day. But thanks to all the coverage and follow up shows etc. I was entertained for the whole day. Mmm... dreamy.
One thing that helped this week was a little pre-planning. Last round when my aunt was in town from Arizona, I realized it really helped to have someone around in the evenings to talk to, share the load with and just get my mind off of how long the days are. So, this round, I enlisted some of my best friends to come and sit with me on Wednesday, Thursday and Friday evening. It was really great. Good friends who don't need to be entertained or apologized to. Ones who pitch in and do what you need. Ones you know would do anything for you. I think I'm on to something here for the final push.
Speaking of the final push, this is a day where I'm feeling like I just don't know if I'm going to make it through 2 more rounds. This chemo comes with some depression and it can wreak havoc on my mind and emotions. I know the thoughts aren't true and you don't need to worry about me. But thoughts of *I can't do one more round* or *what if this doesn't work" creep in. Prayers would be appreciated. I know that this too shall pass. In a week from now I'll be flitting around like old times, but today is hard.
Now if only I could get my hands on a piece of that wedding cake, uh, yum!