Monday, April 4, 2011
Run for cover
What a day. My aunt, my mom's sister, arrived yesterday afternoon. We got dinner and headed home to put the kids to bed. We chatted for a few hours and hit the hay so we could leave bright and early for day one of round three. This morning I experienced minimal anxiety, thank you, Lord. Before they give me the actual chemo they give me this crazy cocktail of other *pre-meds*. One of which is Benadryl. Because they do it through the IV, it hits like a ton of bricks. It is the craziest rush. Ever. I'm pretty sure a hit of this would go for a high price on the streets. As for me... I pretty much hate it. (Figures. Why can't I be a normal person?) It feels so out of control. Have I mentioned before that I hate being out of control? Oh, once or twice? Right. I usually panic for a few minutes before the rush turns into more of this nice calm and I can kind of relax. But those first 10 minutes are a doozy. I have to say having Sherry there this morning really helped. Once I was in the more relaxed state, Steve, Sherry and I laughed. And talked. And laughed. In fact, we were kind of the rowdie corner. I kind of felt bad for the other people. But I kind of like to think we were fun to be around. (Do I now need to repent of pride? oops) While there, a CRAZY storm moved through. It may have been the blackest I've ever seen the sky. I'm not going to lie, it's not the most comforting thing when the doctor passes through and mentions out loud the word tornado. Great bedside manner, doc as I'm tied up with a bit of poison in my veins. Today was my *easy* day. If all three days were like today, I wouldn't mind chemo at all. Or maybe just a little. Tomorrow is my belly port day. I'm hoping we can keep on laughing and that I'll have a good attitude. Also praying that with my aunt around, the fatigue days will be less worrisome as there are an extra set of hands to help. I'm so thankful for her to make the long trip from Arizona. She is such a blessing. Most of all, I'm thankful to God, knowing He's using this chemo to blast that stupid cancer. If you don't hear from me for the next few days, know I'm here but sometimes don't have the umph to post. Pray that I'll have a thankful heart in the midst. I really do feel thankful. Almost half way there. I'm really thankful for that!