Tuesday, April 12, 2011
The tides are turning
I'm officially half way done. Yesterday went well. Today I feel great. In fact, I got up and went to the Y and did some walking on the treadmill. I went to dinner with some girls tonight. The past two rounds I've kind of sat around this week afraid that side effects would come and that I would be in the middle of something and feel bad. So, I didn't do much. But this round I decided to trust the Lord. In the back of my mind it was a little scary to move forward in faith, but I decided it's worse to wait around for nothing to happen. Today... I embraced life. I was in the shower and for the first time I actually had an optimistic thought. It went something like this, "Ok. I'm half way through. I typically have had one rough week. That means I have three rough weeks left. I have 11 weeks and three will be rough. I can do this!" I can't tell you what a victory that was. The little evil voice in my mind wanted to creep in with things like, "Yeah, but maybe it will get harder and it will be more than three weeks." Or "Yeah, but the rough is pretty rough." But my new optimistic self said, "Shut up. The good weeks are really good. And really there are only TWO rough weeks left, because the third is the last... we can deal with bad when it's the last." So, I do believe I am being changed. I am being thankful. I woke up at 4:45 this morning and couldn't get back to sleep for about an hour because I was thanking God for all that He has done. Finally, when I had poured my heart out, I fell back asleep. Umm... let's just say... that beats the heck out of waking up and not sleeping because of worry, fear and panic. I'd say your prayers are working. Not just for my health, but for my mind as well. Keep 'em coming, because I'm not done yet. But I sure am thankful to be where I am. God is so faithful.