Monday, July 26, 2010

We're not a bunch of morons, really!

I didn't think it would take me so long to do another NJ shore post. But I guess doing it this way extends my 2 night/3 day vacy just a wee bit more. And I could choose just to move on, but oh there are so many characters I want to introduce you to from my visit to NJ.

Take for instance, CarolAnn. She is the Inkeeper at the B&B we stayed at. If you can imagine the thickest NJ accent you've ever heard trapped in the tannest 60something body you've ever seen, then you have officially met CarolAnn.

As soon as we walked through the front door of the Inn (pictured behind us) we met CarolAnn. She's loud and bubbly and a TALKER. We learned that straight away. She wanted to know our whole life stories upon arrival. We decided to give her a nutshell version. Which seemed good enough for CarolAnn. Plus it allowed her more time to talk.

When she found out I was from Ohio her eyes got all big and round and appeared thrilled to meet a *real live mid-westerner.* She gave us the low down on our rooms, the inn and how every thing worked. Then she got all hush hush and kinda leaned in to us. Then she said to both of us but her eyes were directed to me,
"Now, Elizabeth, because you're from Ohio and all, I'm going to give you a tip. When you come down for breakfast in the morning, you're gonna want to grab yourselves one of those beach towels." She motioned over to a basket containing... wait for it... beach towels.
"They're gonna go fast." "Also because you're not from New Jersey, I'll tell you something else. We've had guests here before who will grab three towels. You know, one for their feet, one to sit on, one to dry off with. You're just gonna want to take one towel, you know, so there are enough for everyone."

Ummm, thanks for the tip, CarolAnn. We here folk from U-hio, we dunno to much 'bout how yer spose to go to the beach 'n all. So I'll jist go 'head 'n take one of them there towels.
After a long day at the beach (in which I got by with only one towel. Allllll day. How did I ever do it?) Lisa and I decided to treat ourselves to a lovely meal.

We found this amazing restaurant in Asbury Park, which was the town next door. I wish I had gotten a picture of the outside of the place. It was four stories all with wrap around porch seating. We got there late, with no reservation, which meant an hour and a half wait. OR we could be seated immediately at the bar of the 4th floor. Sold!

When we got there, there was another couple on the other side of the wrap around bar. They left about 10 minutes after we arrived. We had a delightful meal and a fun conversation. About 20 minutes before we headed out, a new couple joined us at the bar. And much like their Russian predecessors, they opted to sit elbow to elbow with Lisa. AND THEN they struck up a conversation.

Again, when they found out I was from Ohio they were thrilled. "Welcome to New Jersey." Blah blah blah. And then the lady says, "See, we're not all a bunch of f**$**g a** h***s!" Wow. I've never had a complete stranger use the f word with me. And yep, she certainly helped clear that stereotype right up. Then they continued to tell us about how we should go "straight away after dinner to the local gay bar. You would get a real hoot out of it." yada yada. I explained how they may not allow me back in the state of Ohio if we did. You know, 'cuz we don't have gay
people here and all.

Let's just say, Lisa and I high tailed it outta there and opted out of the gay bar scene and called it a night at the local ice cream parlor.

I have to say, New Jersey sure has its share of characters. Especially for us country bumpkins from U-hio!


jenny from mommin' it up said...

oh man, that was hilarious! good post, E.

Lisa said...

HYSTERICAL!!! Why am I just reading this now. After getting off the phone with you, I had to get on your blog and catch up on everything else we didn't have time to talk about. Love you girlfriend! This is a fabulous post and I laughed a TON reading this. Gary wonders what I'm doing. Love how you quote - VERBATIM- what Carol Ann had to say to us about the towels.