Show off

Back at the beginning of June, I was about to drive up to Hospice to visit my mom. I was just about to hop in my car and Steve was going to hold down the fort with the kids. I checked my email one last time. There was an email from my friend Chelsey. It basically said she had come across an Amy Grant song that reminded her of me and my mom. I just couldn't look at the lyrics at the time. I shut the email down, hopped in the car and away I went.

I got about thirty minutes from Hospice and I decided to turn on the radio. I pretty much don't listen Christian radio (don't hate me, or leave ugly comments. I just don't care much for the stuff they play on the radio.) But I felt like if there was ever a time for Christian radio, on your way to visit your dying mom is one of them. No joke, the second song that came on to K-Love was that Amy Grant song. Okay, Lord, you have my attention. Here are the words:

Better than a Hallelujah

God loves a lullaby
In a mother's tears in the dead of the night
better than a Hallelujah sometimes.
God loves the drunkard's cry
The soldiers plea not to let him die
better than a hallelujah sometimes.

We pour out our miseries
God just hears a melody
Beautiful the mess we are
the honest cries of breaking hearts
are better than a hallelujah sometimes.

The woman holding on for life
the dying man giving up the fight
Are better than a hallelujah sometimes.
Tears of shame for what's been done
The silence when the words won't come
are better than a hallelujah sometimes.

We pour out our miseries
God just hears a melody.
Beautiful the mess we are
the honest cries of breaking hearts
are better than a hallelujah sometimes.

Better than a church bell ringing,
Better than a choir singing out, singing out.

We pour out our miseries
God just hears a melody.
Beautiful the mess we are
the honest cries of breaking hearts
are better than a hallelujah sometimes...

(then a bunch of repeating words and stanzas... but you get the gist of the song.)

Needless to say, that day in June, I was a tearful mess. I felt the Lord was near. I might have even laughed. Because you can run from something God wants to tell you but, He'll hunt you down and find you somewhere on I-75 northbound and make you listen.

Today, the kids and I were on our way to Kroger. (Which is another post all unto itself.) When we got in the van and I was backing out I thought to myself, "Lord, I'd really like to hear that Amy Grant song." I've been missing my mom a bit more than *normal* since this past weekend when we were up in Toledo. So I turned on K-Love (again, this is not normal for me. Meaning, I have no idea what is even popular and what is not.) They are in the middle of a fund drive and I thought about switching stations. By the time I got to the main street, second song in, no joke... the Amy Grant song came on.

I just burst into tears. Guess what, God cares. He wanted to bless me. You want to know something even crazier??? When I asked all the kids to quiet down so that I could hear the song... THEY DID. I, of course, was crying. Not so much for missing my mom, but more for realizing that God probably planted that thought in my mind to desire that song and then He showed off.

Now that's better than a hallelujah sometimes.