A hole in our hearts

On July 4th we lost Steve's grandma. I've been trying to blog about it ever since. It's been one of those things, a not so funny comedy of errors. Finally, after nearly 45 minutes of trying to get a picture of her posted up on here, I decided enough was enough. I'm sad you won't get to see her, because she was something else. A true beauty.

Great Grandma (or *The New Grandma* as my kids called her, which is hilarious since she was the matriarch of the Koproski family, but to kids she was *new*) lived down in Tampa and we got to see her at Christmas time. Ironically enough, The New Grandma was a bit of a bizarre snow bird. She lived all year in Tampa but spent most of December and January in Kalamazoo, MI (one of the coldest and snowiest places I've been.) But that was because she loved her family and wanted to be near them at the holidays.

She had just sold her house, packed her stuff and loaded it onto a moving truck because she was ready to make a permanent move to Kalamazoo to be with Steve's aunt and her family. This was exciting for us as we started planning a few trips, even one at the end of the summer, to spend some time with her. But she literally went straight from the airport to the Emergency Room and never made it back home. She was the only remaining Great Grandparent for my kids.

Grandma had a special place in my heart. When Steve and I got married, all of my grandparents were gone. And from the first time I met her, she felt immediately like my own grandmother. She, in fact, was similar to my own grandma. If it wasn't for her, I might not even be married right now!

Steve dragged his feet on the whole proposal thing. We had been dating for over a year when we finally had a conversation on the phone in which he asked me for my thoughts on the future of our relationship. For the first time, I put it all out there on the line and told him I was sure he was the one. To which I met silence on the other end. How's that for leaving a girl hanging?

The next day Steve had some business down in Florida and then took a personal day to spend with his grandma. He shared with her our conversation to which she asked, "Well, what did you say to her?" When he told her he basically said nothing, she called him a *little name* and said, "What were you thinking?" She then went on to chew him out. Later that evening, they went ring shopping together and we were engaged a few weeks later.

So, thanks to Grandma, I am a Koproski.

She was feisty, generous, a lover of my kids, meticulous, faithful and gorgeous.

Steve did her graveside memorial service on Monday morning. As he was about 1/2 way through, a fierce storm blew in. There we were under a tent next to a metal casket during an electrical storm. She would have shook her head and called us all a name and then chuckled. She would have loved what Steve said. She would have been very proud of him. She always was. She loved it when he would speak to the waiters at the Chinese restaurant in Chinese.

I could go on and on. This year has pretty much sucked. The loss of Grandma fits in there for sure. But I'm pretty sure that 88 year old lady would have chosen it this way if she could have. Shoot, she just might have! We love you, Grandma, you will be missed by the Dayton Koproskis!