Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Pride comes before the Butt Paste

That is one sad kid! But don't feel too sorry for him. He's all tears and sorrow because he unleashed the wrath of mommy. And let me tell you why!

Once upon a time, I had heard stories from other valiant mommies of their toddler woes. Usually involving sneaky boys and tubes of diaper cream. And being the judgemental pig that I am, I secretly had thoughts of, "Well, MY kids would never do that. I run a tight ship. I'd tan their hide." etc. and etc. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.

Because while I was out for 2 hours yesterday (where, ironically, I was typing my post with all of the adorable smiling kids and spinning tales of a fun-filled family weekend) my boys were wreaking havoc on my upstairs. (and YES, that is blood you see on the walls... not grape jelly.)

My poor, sweet babysitter had tried to call me and warn me of what I was about to walk into upon returning home. But my phone was in my purse on vibrate. Good luck with that. So you can imagine my surprise and horror when I found the mess that awaited me. Oh, and don't let the fact that Quinn escaped the photos make you think he was an innocent bystander in all of this. He, too, was caught red handed.

The boys not only smeared Bordeaux Butt Paste all over the walls, carpet, doors, themselves (Turner still looks like the biggest greaser even after a good shampoo) and Quinn's bed; they also broke a toy basket, and emptied all of the clothing bags that I had sorted/organized to be sold at the consignment shop. (Another strike against being organized. It usually ends up being a waste of time.)

Turner also managed to pull apart several picture frames, where he presumably took a chunk from his pinkie finger. Bloody evidence remained all over their room and closet.
It seriously looked like someone had been murdered in my upstairs. And lucky for the presence of the babysitter, no one was!

I thought I had *gotten my point across* rather well with a few bare bun spanks. But frick and frack were up to their old tricks TWICE today during naps. First, they got into a second closet where they threw clothes all over. Then they got busted a second time when I heard some noise that didn't sound like napping where I found about 500 Q tips thrown about. This time I had to get daddy involved. Here's hoping the point was well taken.

And just to rub my nose in it (thanks, Lord, I think I'm getting it... don't be prideful and stuff like that), Steve called about 7 minutes after the Q tip incident to let me know that a potential buyer called and wanted to see the house in 2 hours. (Did I mention that we took the house of the market YESTERDAY and have not had a showing since March?) Let's just say my house wasn't exactly *tidy.* Yep, nice timing.

There you have it. My kids are not above mischief after all. And yes, God, I think I got the memo. I'll work on that pride problem. Thanks.


jenny said...

Oh this made me laugh, only because I too, had to eat my pride on these kind of unfortunate incidents. My older 2 never got into as much trouble as my #3! We've had lotion, chapstick, makeup messes, and he's even managed to break a few things....just very ornery :)...thank goodness he's cute! Hang in there. And I'm sure having 2 going through it at the same time only increases the clean-up!

KTC said...

Truly why I never wanted 2 boys!! But, my girl is a bit of a tomboy! Sooo sorry... sounds like a miserable day or 2.

wren handmade said...

Whoa, that is crazy! I can't believe they were up to such trouble, the poor babysitter. I'm hoping for a nerdy kid who wants to do science experiments and read books quietly :)

Amber said...

we should never get my daughter and the two of them together. i've had baby powder, lotion, make up (mascara is her fave of course!), rubbing soap all over her baby brothers head (it wasn't bath time), dumped cups of water all over the floors, tubes of chapstick eaten and smeared, writing on the walls (with various instruments/substances)...the list just goes on. glad to know i'm not alone on the whole eating my words thang. :)