Friday, June 25, 2010

Ok, so its not exactly Beverly Hills around here

This is the second year in a row that we've gotten a family membership to a nearby kiddie pool. There is something for all ages, even a pretty cool sand area. Which I secretly hate. All the sand and mess w/o the ocean.
I love this place. We usually arrive after naps when most of the crowd is leaving. We miss the heat of the day and about a billion kids that way. We are a bit behind in our pool attendance because of all of the time up in Toledo, but this week we've really gotten back into our summer routine. And I love it. Steve usually meets us there after work with a big icy diet coke in hand for me.
I have to say, after the winter months, I do forget about all the drama and craziness that happens at the pool. Don't get me wrong, our family is NOT exactly a picture of sophistication or fashion (yep, those are Cheeze-Its proudly displayed by each of my kids in those pics) but I'd like to think we keep some kind of general pool etiquette.
Others around us this week? Not so much!
Take for example the lady (and by lady I mean older woman probably pushing 50) in her ill-fitting white string bikini who was reprimanded by not only a fellow patron, but also by management itself. Let's just say it wasn't just skimpy but saggy as well (and her bikini didn't fit either!)
Or there was a little girl, easily 3, who strutted past me with her baby bottle full of chocolate milk. Gag me... on many levels!
If that doesn't do it for 'ya, there was a grandma sitting on the rim of the pool who removed her dentures and before I could look away, licked her lunch right out of them. Perhaps she could have borrowed the bottle to squirt 'em down?
But the grand finale was a mama who perhaps WAS from Beverly Hills. 'Cuz them b**bies weren't from around here! And we ALL got a reeeeeeal good look at 'em. She literally had a string bikini (in fluorescent green) that were teeny tiny triangles covering up the *important* (?) stuff both up and down. Somehow she was carting a toddler around the pool. How it all stayed in place, I have no idea. My question for her would have been, what makes you think that is any kind of appropriate for a kiddie pool?
If its your backyard, a vacation pool etc. I still would advise against the suit, but it would at least be w/in the realm of *what the h*ll are you thinking?* rather than *CVS called and wants it's dental floss back!*
I HATE the thought that Steve had to see that, but even scarier is the thought of my boys in a few years gawking at some naked mom. Ewwww... shivers!
So, that's my opinionated pool re-cap of the week. I'm thinking it can't get worse. Right?


cindy q said...

Careful with the description of "older woman" pushing 50. Some of us "already arrived" at 50 don't want to be thought of as "older women" Hee hee! Great to see photos of the Koproskis having fun

wren handmade said...

The thought of a woman licking her dentures is so gross!!

Funny post!

Savvy Little Women - Kate said...

Oh this has me laughing so hard! We should hit the pool together sometime :)!

bethany said...

I greatly enjoyed this post. However, I think you should sneak pictures of the pool criminals to post to the blog with your stories about them. That way I can laugh even harder :)

jenny from mommin' it up said...

DUDE. I have noticed that the crowd at the pool has gone pretty downhill this year. I have seen a few pairs of fake bewbies and lots of stretched marked giant tummies in bikinis. I'm like, REALLY? I don't even want to see MY stretch marks, much less yours! And the best was the white supremacist old dude with "WHITE" tattooed down one leg and "BOY" down the other. What's the deal this year?????

Lisa said...

OH.MI.GOSH. You are seriously the most hysterically funny blogger I know. I think you're going to have to tell me bedtime stories on our girls getaway weekend. Too funnny!