Rearview mirror

One year ago today, right about now, I was recovering in a hospital room after a full hysterectomy and the removal of all visible cancer. It was official. Stage 3 Ovarian cancer. In some ways it was a relief. In one week my life was changed forever. And yet, there in the hospital room with all my lady parts gone, as well as the cancerous tumors, a new chapter was being written. It would be several weeks of recovery until I could begin *rough* chemo.

With a year under my belt in some ways I can't believe its been a year. Time flies. And in other ways it was the longest, seemingly never-ending year of my life.

I'm weird with anniversaries. Maybe not weird, maybe lots of people operate like me. Anniversaries mean a lot to me. For example, a week ago at this time I was on a plane to Arizona. Throughout today my mind has drifted several times to, "A week ago at this time, what was I doing?" Same goes for a year ago today. A day that changed my life.

I'm happy to report that one year later, I am *cancer free.* (That means there are no visible signs of active cancer cells in my body.) In another four years, I'll be considered cured, if there are no re-occurrences. It seems like a long, impossible road. But then again, so it seemed a year ago as well.

I've been working on remembering. And being thankful. And realizing how amazing it is to be sitting where I am today. With a full head of a hair. I went to Zumba this morning and kickboxing class yesterday. I have more energy then ever and certainly feel better than I did a year ago.

I don't know what tomorrow holds. I'm beginning to be okay with that. Slowly (very slowly) letting go of the need to control everything. Embracing today and not assuming tomorrow will suck. And if it does, knowing I'll be able to handle it. Because God good...because this past year has been the suckiest of all sucky- and I handled it. By the grace of God.

So, here is to one year out of a cancer diagnosis. Feeling good and living large. Thank YOU for journeying it with me.