Some of my sweetest moments in life happen when I'm tucking my daughter into bed at night. One might think that is because the day is finally over and it's time for some *me time* (and on many occasion, that is true) but most of the time it is because of the sweet and honest talks we have. If you have kids, you may find the same is true at your house.
On Friday, O got her hair cut and for a special treat, I let her get a piece of tinsel tied in her hair. We were going to a wedding reception of our dear friend, and former nanny, Linnea that night. Fast forward to tonight as we laid side by side on her bed and I saw tears welling up in her eyes.
Her bottom lip started to quiver and I asked what was wrong. "I'm just afraid I'm going to get in trouble at school tomorrow for my hair."
The kids are not allowed to wear costumes to school for Halloween, nor are they allowed to wear jewelry any day. She was afraid that her teacher would see her tinsel and she would get in trouble. I dried her eyes and assured her that she would be fine with the one piece of tinsel. I also asked her what would be the worst thing that could happen if she DID get in trouble? (Her fear seemed so irrational.) She squeaked out that Ms. Shirley would take it (the tinsel) out. We then talked about how that would not be so bad. I then reassured her that she would be fine. And if she did get in trouble, I would take the blame.
Once again fast forward a few hours later. I spent some time talking to God about some things I've been mulling over regarding my life, my circumstances, life, death, a sermon at Church this weekend etc. All of a sudden it was like I heard my words come back to me. Only this time, I was the fearful, tearful daughter with irrational fears. I felt like this time HE reassured ME that I would be fine and that I have zero fear of punishment, because Jesus already took my blame.
Friday night, after Linnea's reception I snuggled up to O for a *quick prayer* (it was late, after all, since we stayed out late.) As I prayed for her and her night, I gave thanks for Linnea and Brandon and their new marriage. When I did, I started to cry (I know, I know, enough with the tears around here! It's enough to think someone might be a touch hormonally challenged or something!)
The tears were a result of my realization that this wedding was being planned pretty much through the duration of my chemo.
Honestly, some days the joy and giddiness of wedding planning were a tough pill to swallow. But on Friday night, as my kids and I danced and celebrated Linnea's new life, in some ways it felt like I got a chance to celebrate my new life. With hair. With energy. With health. And as I prayed, gratitude flooded over me like an enormous wave.
Although, some nights bedtime feels like a chore to *get done*, I'm so thankful that recently I've slowed down enough to learn a thing or two.
P.S. How cute is that couple? Couldn't you just hate 'em?!!!