Friday, June 13, 2014


I have some very special friends.  It's important to have special friends no matter what, but especially when you are an only child.  I've been a little nostalgic these past few weeks.  May/June seem to be reflective for me as another school year ends, but also for other reasons.

Wednesday was the 4 year anniversary of my mom's death.  I can't believe its been 4 years.  These girls got me through a really rough stretch.  They were all at my mom's *celebration*.  They were so patient and loving the days that followed as I would randomly break down sobbing.  They were my family.  I don't know what I would have done without them.

These girls were there the day I found out I had cancer.  They hugged me, cried with/for me, cooked dinner, cleaned my house, took care of my kids, sat with me when all I could do was sit on the couch.  They told me I was beautiful when I was bald.  It was a rough stretch. They celebrated my cancer-free diagnosis (3YEARS AGO, PS.  YIPPEE) as if it were their own good news.  I don't know what I would have done without them.

These girls got me through my dad's death.  Just when they thought maybe they were going to have a non-needy friend back, I needed them again.  They never indicated they were tired of loving me, helping me, or serving me.  I don't know what I would have done without them.

I am able to be real and honest with these ladies.  They know my ugly.  They know I struggle with criticism and pessimism.  They know I struggle with fear.  They celebrate my strengths.  They laugh with me and shop with me.  They encourage me to be a better wife and mother.  They point me to Jesus.  They forgive me and give me grace.  I don't know what I would do without them.

Another pause for reflection came two weeks ago as our gang of four sat down for our last supper.  Our friend, Susie, and her family are moving to Rwanda.  Not across town or even to Iowa.  Rwanda. 

It's a heart breaker, to say the least.  Our kids have grown up together.  As in, from birth/adoption homecomings.  It is hard to imagine my life and our families' lives transitioning.  Doing life, real life, means ups and downs.  It's honest talks, seeking and giving forgiveness.  It's facing baldness and pregnancy and birthday piñatas and store bought birthday cakes when you want to make a wild creative creation. 

It's saying good bye to friends who know you like family... and saying good bye.  It's watching the band break up.  Love is the ugly snot cry when you get in your car after hugging your friend good-bye and not knowing when the next hug will be.

I don't know what I'll do without her.

I DO know that the other two are not allowed to leave me.  EVER!

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