Friday, April 5, 2013

The day my son became a thug

Steve and I have recently been reading a book about parenting called Parenting With Love and Logic by Jim Fay.  It's been really good.  The main gist of the book is to allow your children to experience logical consequences for their poor choices in life.  Well, its a good thing I've been reading that book because it helped prepare me for yesterday.

When I went to pick the boys up from school I was greeted by Turner's teacher who was had a sly look on her face when she asked how I was.  "Doing great" was my answer.  I, in turn, asked her how she was doing.  "I was doing great, until recess.  Didn't you get a call?"  I'm sure my eyes bugged out of my head because her answer was "Turner and Parker got into a fight.  Like a REAL FIGHT.  With punching and stuff."  (By the way, she loves Turner and had a twinkle in her eye as she told me.)

With that, Turner made his first appearance in the Principal's office.  He and Parker both *got* to eat lunch with her.  (Which, we later found out, Turner thought was kind of cool because she has a lot of Buckeye stuff.) Side note to principals... don't have cool stuff in your office, it makes you less intimidating.  And I NEED you to be intimidating.

The story goes (according to the teachers) that Turner punched Parker in the nose.  Turner's version is that they were playing tag and he did a two handed push on Parker who then in turn punched Turner.  I'm not a mom who lives with her head in the sand.  I'm very sure that Turner should NOT have put his hands on anyone at recess. He very possibly punched his buddy in the nose.

However, Parker is the same boy who came to play one afternoon and bit Turner so hard he left a welt so perfect on Turner's arm we could have made a retainer out of it.  When I asked why he bit Turner, he flat out denied it.  Finally when I pressed him and showed him the proof, he fessed up.  Let's just say they are evenly matched. 

I am also quite sure it was REALLY good for both boys to spend some time in the Principal's office.  Natural consequences!  You do the crime... you do the time!

It is really hard as a mom to let the chips fall where they may.  I want to make sure that my kids get the message loud and clear, but at the same time I don't want to over punish.  I have a boy who is rough and tumble and this probably isn't going to be his only trip to the Principal's office (which is SO different from the other two who would rather die than get in trouble.)  Learning now to separate myself from my kids' decisions will help me as they grow up.  Man is that hard!
He may be a thug, but he sure is a cute one!!!

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