Sweet Nothing

If you know me at all, you probably know I love me some dessert!  You know the question, "If you could live on one food, what would it be?"  My answer is always, "Wedding cake!" Hands down.  Don't get me wrong, in a pinch I'd take any kind of cake - or ice cream, or cookie, or cream pie, or candy- you get the picture.  But for some reason, wedding cake is the perfect food for me.

In fact, if I could, I might just shoot sugar straight into my vein.  Did I just say that out loud?

Recently, several of my friends have been doing a *cleanse.*  Yep, just the sound of it was enough to make me want to roll my eyes and eat a brownie.  Which I did.  I said things to them like, "Wow, that's amazing.  I could NOT give up sugar."  Then I thought about it.  For a few weeks.  The inner voice of "I could NEVER" got louder.  The thought of going without chocolate for 10 days seemed impossible.  That's when I really realized, I'm an addict.  A true addict.  So I thought, I'd better try this.

It wasn't really a need to lose weight (although a few pounds would be nice) but rather a freedom from the magnetic pull of the chocolate chip bag my hand found itself in several times a day.  Sheesh, I just need a hit every once in a while- is that wrong?

Seven days ago I started *the cleanse.*  Somehow, I managed to convince Steve to do it with me.  He was on a trip when I started, so he is three days behind me, which actually was helpful since I was able to figure it out before he started.  The cleanse is part of a plan and is not just eliminating sugar (and almost all processed food, bread, pasta, dairy, drinks except for water and fast food) it is filled with supplements and gentle herbal fibers to help eliminate toxins from your system.  There is a second phase and is actually a 24 day challenge designed to change your eating habits and help you lose weight.  I don't think we'll do the whole thing, in general, we eat rather healthy, but I will step it up even more after this.

Honestly, the first day was pretty rough.  I thought about food all day long.  I craved sugary treats.  I was grumpy.  Not hungry, because there is plenty to eat on the cleanse, but I was an addict going through with drawl... for sure!  The plan is set up for you to eat fruit/eggs or some kind of protein for breakfast, a snack and supplement for a mid morning snack (like nuts) lunch of fresh veggies, lean protein and fruit for lunch, another protein snack for afternoon, dinner of lean protein and veggies and perhaps a complex carb and then another snack before bed.  But dang it, cake, wasn't on the list.

I can say that on day 7 (today) I am not grumpy.  I have lost 2.5 lbs but also took measurements and I'm sure some inches around my waist will be gone.  Since I wasn't doing this with the intent to lose weight, I have to keep reminding myself I am reaching my goal of breaking the pull of sugar on my life and that I am succeeding.  If nothing more than reaching a personal goal.

I do have to add, since my experience with cancer, I kind of hate it when sugar is made out to be the devil.  I'll say it here, I do NOT THINK that.  I do not think that by eliminating sugar from my life I will keep cancer away forever. That is God's job!!

 I'm certainly not saying I will never eat sugar again!  Because I will.  I hope to do it in a much more controlled/limited way, though. I'm not even sure I *feel* all that much better.  (You know when people say, "I feel SO much better.")  Honestly, I felt really good and healthy before the cleanse.  But mentally and emotionally I feel amazing that I've been able to tackle this giant in my life. I don't think world peace would come if we all gave up sugar and sang kumbyya.  I just wanted to see if I could do this.  And I can.

Apparently, you can do the cleanse every three months.  I'll probably do it again.  I also might forever have a grudge against my husband- he's on day 4 and has lost 5.5 lbs.  Men.  Sheesh!

We are what we are

We had a family photo shoot the other day.  Why on Pinterest are all the families in co-ordinating outfits, on the beach, smiling, carefree and not pouting, whining or complaining?  Or they are and they are faking waaaayyyy better than we did! 

Obviously, Olivia was cold.  She made no bones about it.  Not so obvious, Steve and I were a bit *annoyed* with each other.  But grown ups can fake it a bit better than 6 year olds. 

And then there was the fight about my daughter wearing a certain hooded jacket that didn't match anything. She won. Oh well.

So guess what?  Our family isn't perfect.  We fight, we throw tantrums.  We pout and complain.  Sometimes we smile for the camera, sometimes we don't. 

But we press on.  We love each other.  We laugh.  We try not to take ourselves too seriously. We are not Pinterest Perfect.  And I kind of like that about us.